Rarr Bzz Bzz BZZZZZ

2007-06-30T13:42:00.001+08:00

Heyy peeps, I'm movin' over to LJ: Click here !

See you over at LJ. =)

P.S. Sweets, kindly do me a favour and create an LJ account, then let me know your account name, kay? Thanks. =D

2007-05-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

Hmm. I miss my fiance. I miss Hew.

But I'm sure I'll see her in Heaven one day. =)

Heaven... Oo I do look forward to the day of our ecstatic reunion ! =D

2007-05-18T00:29:00.000+08:00

Oh, and since my friendly taggboard is no longer working, everyone please leave comments for me kay? =))

And before I forget, here's the shop front: Sheep's Factory

Do visit ! =>

2007-05-18T00:26:00.001+08:00

<blockquote>SHEEP'S FACTORY 
Sheep's Factory is a young company started by a friend and it is important to them that they acquire your feedback regarding their product (hand-drawn/personalised tees). Hence, I would like to invite you to kindly fill in a survey for them.Just <a href="http://www.advancedsurvey.com/">click here</a> and enter survey number 52226 in the Take A Survey box to take the survey!
The survey will only take up 5 minutes, because they value your time. Thank you for your great help, and have a wonderful, blessed day ahead ! =)Much Loves, Sheep's Factory </blockquote>

The above is something I've done for all of you guys to copy and paste under your HTML tab so you can help me advertise. Do help k ! I'm starting this online shop to sell hand-drawn tees (yes, I'm drawing them, praise God I have talent !) and I really need feedback/advice on what/how to go about doing it.

All help is greatly appreciated. You can be sure I'll repay you some way next time. =)) But for now, do go and do the survey k? All you have to do is to

Just click here and enter survey number 52226 in the Take A Survey box to take the survey!

Simple as that. =)))

Thanks loads people. I love you =D

On a side note, to all those who've been watching my blog for news on my abs... Well, they're pretty united now for some reason, and they insist that "there's no 'i' in teamwork" so there's nothing much I can do for the moment but (sigh) admit that (double sigh) I have a tummy. Well, not to worry, I'll persuade them that their being a washboard is much more a sign of unity than rebellion through congregrating as fats. Haha. So till then, see ya peeps !

(And my dear juniors, expect to see more of me as your training times become more regular. =))))

2007-03-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

I'm in LOVE.

Helplessly, hopelessly IN LOVE.

But glad to be so. X)

2007-03-02T10:02:00.000+08:00

Images from Kukuxumusu, captions by me.

Haha enjoy a good laugh like I did !

"Darling, will this contraceptive do?"

The Inevitable Life of a Modern Chicken

All the best to everyone for 'A's ! =))

2007-02-22T09:53:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday my dear fiance. I hope you're somewhere safe ! Wherever you are, pray for your parents kay. I'm sure they'd love to have that part of their hearts that has been emptied and turned into a void when you left filled up. Let it be full, filled with His love. I do hope you'd chosen to accept Him when you were still around, and not a follower of the ten commandments and living in a life of condemnation. 'Cause that'd mean that you're now safe and sound in His arms, even if it means that you may have turned away from Him.

See you in Heaven one day.

Love loads, your fiancee. X)

2007-02-11T23:07:00.000+08:00

Here's are the videos:

Team Hoyt - I Can Only Imagine

Team Hoyt - Together

2007-02-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

I Can Only Imagine
I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before
me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine!
I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself
standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship
You!
I can only imagine!
I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for
you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah!
I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for
you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah!
I can only imagine!

I can only imagine! Yeah!
I can only imagine! Only imagine!
I can only imagine.

I can only imagine, when all I do is forever, forever worship You!

I can only imagine.

It's not just another triathlete, it's Team Hoyt. Just watch the videos and be inspired, be touched.

And, Dick is only human. What more will our Abba Daddy, our Daddy God give to us, even if we're crippled and weak?

Surely He will provide for us all that we need, love us with such overwhelming love.
Surely He will carry us and swim the lengths of the seas that we cannot swim acorss.
Surely He will push us on the races we are incapable of running.
Surely He will be our magnificent Father who will reach out to us even when everyone else turn their backs on us.
Surely He will not forsake us.

Rick couldn't compete without his dad.
Dick wouldn't compete without his son.

Similarly, we are nothing without our Daddy, for without His unwavering love for us, we are handicapped. But with Him, we are whole, and we are able to compete in the race of life. And... What more our Heavenly Father? Just as Dick wouldn't compete without his son, our Daddy God would not go have given his Only Begotten Son to die on the cross if it wasn't for our existence.

Today is just so filled with revelations for me. And I can only thank my Daddy God and be grateful that I was called to Him so that I may receive His everlasting, unchanging love and be cloaked in Jesus' robe of righteousness even when I have done nothing to deserve such favour. Such is His grace. This undeserved, unmerited, unearned favour. I can only say thanks.

To whoever is feeling down and out, and as if nothing is going right is his/her life, please look for one of Hillsong's or New Creation's songs online. Actually anyone out there who wants to know Jesus. Please do. Listen to their songs with an open mind and feel the anointing. Let Him speak to you.

Mm all I'm doing here is to share with people whom care about me and read my blog something really good and precious that I've found, and I want you to have as well. I'm sure I didn't sound too preach-y and that my friends will understand that all this I type, I type out of sheer love for them. =)

Another set of song lyrics to end this post off:

So You Would Come

When the world began
You were on his mind
And every tear you cried
Is precious in his eyes
Because of his great love
He gave his only son
And everything was done,
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Can make him love you more
Nothing that you’ve done
Can make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
And everything was done,
So you would come
Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
And everything was done,
So you would come

2007-02-09T23:48:00.000+08:00

Here's a phrase I thought really meaningful. It just formed itself in my head today, for some reason. Winks winks !

People say an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
But I say, Jesus everyday keeps all ailments at bay.

Heh. Praise the Lord. =)

2007-01-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

2007 // The Year of New Beginnings and Double Portions

Gone is 2006, and the days of drudgery. Cometh is 2007, my much anticipated year of many miracles, much excitement and more importantly, my year of new beginnings.

This year I will begin to love towards infinity.

This year I begin to give more of me.

This year I begin my university life.

This year shall be the beginning of my rekindled flame of passion for dragonboating.

This year psychology begins to thrust upon me knowledge, but not confuse me because I have wisdom from Dad.

This year I begin to rest.

But most importantly,

This year is the beginning of my growth with a very special someone, and

This year marks the beginning of my journey in Christ.

Double portions, exponential growth, my dearest Prince and Daddy in Heaven here I come ! X)

2006-12-26T21:10:00.000+08:00

Blessed Christmas everyone ! Although it's kinda late. HAHA. But never mind, it's the thought that counts ! X)

The new year is fast approaching ! We're left with like, the last 5 days of 2006 ! This means, it's once again the time to set our new year resolutions, dear readers ! Haha. C'mon c'mon, out come your pens (not pants) !

Since I'm 18 now, I'll strive for 18 new year resolutions to work on. But I'll only move onto assessing the next when I've attain the one in front. In this order:

Be punctual.
Plan early. ~~Procrastinate.~~
Sleep by 11pm. 7 hours of sleep. (save for the occasional countdowns and sleepovers XD)
Take a backseat. Listen more. Be patient.
Keep a diary.
Keep track of finances.
Express my love. <3>
Do volunteering/charity.
Healthy diet. Rid the constipation !
Keep my stuff organised and tidy.
Save a day for me, myself and I every week.
Save a day for friends weekly. Organise get-togethers.
Shower and wash up the moment I'm home.
Develop a strong posture. Get my ambiguous six-pack. Get my sexy back. Basically makeover my body into a sculpted, hot bod. Hehheh.
Turn up for NYJC Dragonboat trainings at least once weekly.
Become a swimming instructor.
Quit the binges.
Be at 46 kg.

In case you're wondering why 46kg is at the bottom of my list, it is just so that I have ample time to work towards it at the same time that I'm working on my other resolutions. HAHA ! Smart eh?

So readers, help me attain my goals ! And I will help you with yours. Winks. ;)

As thanks, I will allow anyone who's reminded me of my goals to see my ambiguous six-pack when it's here ! XD

The rain keeps falling, but I won't let it dampen my spirits. It's after all, because of the rain that I got to experience a very delightful steamboat dinner at home. =)

Things happen for very miraculous reasons. Today I couldn't turn up for my secondary school barbeque gathering because of some things that cropped up at home. But because I can't turn up for the bbq, I was treated to a scrumptious steamboat dinner at home. Warmth and family love. Fun. X) I'm not glad that I missed the bbq, but I'm thankful for the exchange. Friends for family. I can always meet up with my friends again for a bbq, but it's not everyday my mom decides on having steamboat on a cold, cold night.

Okay, going to clear up my room already. I'll try to update my blog more frequently, espeically since so many things have happened to me in the past 2 months or so. Eventful closing to 2006, I'll say.

P.S. Bao if you see this, confess man ! I know your deep dark secret with the _ _ _ _ ! XD

2006-12-08T00:44:00.000+08:00

Event: Official Inter-JC Post-Exam Gala Event

Venue: Zouk

Date: 12 Dec 2006 (Tuesday)

Time: 2100 - 2315 Unveiling of
Prom Kings and Queens
2315 onwards party !

Price: $18, inclusive of one free drink ($16 if you confirm with me by
Friday night 8th Dec)
Feature: Open to all 16 and up, no alcohol

Xuans and I will be representing NYJC as Prom King and Queen respectively, so I'm currently trying to rally as much support as possible from all the students of NYJC. You know, since we'd be like, representing NY.

If you're free that night, I highly encourage you to come down and support us ! Cuz we really need all the support we can get. I'm serious. I appreciate each and every single person who comes down on the 12th.

If you've already made plans, bring your friends down ! It only starts at 9 anyway, so you can have dinner before coming. Besides, it'd be an excuse for you guys to stay out late. XD

If you're unsure, get more friends to come along ! This kinda thing only happens once in a year, so might as well come down and enjoy yourself. =)

I'm really looking forward to seeing my boaters (both my team and juniors team), foonium (if you all don't mind), sir ector, camelot facils, and all those who know me. Anyone else interested to come is definitely welcomed with open arms.

Contact me ya ! You can email me or msn me at: pkaelpeanuts@hotmail.com. Those who have my phone no, call me or sms me. =D

2006-12-02T02:43:00.000+08:00

I'm going crazy over all the activities lined up. Having so much fun in my life in such a short span of time. Simply ecstatic. Elated. But not exasperated. Hope this kinda fun fun fun continues.

Of course, I'm going to look for work, and hopefully start work soon. Then I'll have income to feed my ever-increasing expenditure thanks to the festive season (which I don't even know why I'm celebrating for =P) and many many gatherings all lined up.

I won't blog about LTC until a later date, cuz there's simply too many things to cover. But basically, it made a better person out of me, and I really enjoyed myself at LTC.

SIR ECTOR RAWKS MY SOCKS !

I like my life now, but I think it'd be even better when the house revamp sets in and I get to be the artist of my room. I mean, my sister and MY room. HAHA. Get it get it? =P Not forgetting of course, when I start work. I'm hoping to find some stable job, but not an office job, so I can be a part-timer and yet be meeting the same people consistently so I get to build up so interpersonal relationships. =)

Looking for some place to volunteer at too. So if anyone's got any place in mind, do let me know ! I would like to try out for MCYS, SSC and animal lodges, see how it goes. Just, no infants and old folksies for me for the time being, until I'm sure I can handle them.

Then the list of what I'd be up to in the next few months or so:

Bronze Medallion
CPR
First-aid
Live-Saving
Basic Teaching for Swimming
Swimming Coaching
Windsurfing Proficiency courses

Then there's also the dilemma of what I'm gonna do after receiving results. Am I going to fly, or am I going to row and study? Need to make a firm decision soon, since the opportunity for DSA isn't going to wait for me. Neither will the potential flying career.

All right, that's all the updates for the time being. Need to go catch up on my sleep already. Tomorrow's pasta party at Xuans' place, then marathon whoo ! Let's see how I manage to survive the gruelling 6 hours, shall we?

Suddenly have this craving for a banana milkshake at the end of my 42.195km race of endurance and mental strength. XD

2006-11-19T10:15:00.000+08:00

Light a Candle

The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves.
But you can.

With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade.
We do not need your money.

We need you to light a candle of support.

We're aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31, 2006.

This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.

They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to take action.

Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com or send an email of support to light@lightamillioncandles.com.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children.

Kindly forward this email to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so that they can light a candle too.

2006-11-19T09:11:00.000+08:00

It matters not what the world thinks,
I believe I need no shrink.

My conscience is clear,
I have no fear.

It is in such fogged times that
true friendship emerges,
And all the fair weather ships deserted.
I trust the vessels that I have constructed,
My faith in them unwavered, unfluttered.

The melodrama will soon be over,
I call for faith in me, my brothers*.
Trust in me, that I am no sinner.
Follow your heart, let the angst dimmer.

That's all I have to say. I have absolute faith in those who know me to let them be their own judges of my character. That's why I will make no clarifications, for there is no need to. If you know me well enough, you will see beyond the distortion of truth and into my soul. Unspoken words will reach out across all barriers, from where my soul resides to calm your heart.

That's why, friends are also known as soulmates.

Peace.

(*brothers: refers to friends. Please do not see this as a sexist remark. For it should be pretty clear that I am quite the feministic idealist by now. =)

2006-11-18T13:58:00.000+08:00

If I have the financial ability, I will fork out enough moolah to buy myself a getaway to Australia or New Zealand for one month on a budget airline. And I'd leave my mobile in Singapore. Probably go to Gold Coast again. Just that this time round I'll pick up scuba and go diving at Great Barrier Reef and go learn windsurfing from some surfer babes. Find myself a part-time job as a waitress at some tiny eatery, and then live in some rented apartment. That'd be nice.

Alas, a dream, as always.

The packed schedule after 'A's terrify me more than anything. Let's just look at my first two weeks (or so) after 'A's:

24th Nov - LTC
25th Nov - LTC

26th Nov - LTC
27th Nov - LTC
28th Nov - 10k run; Prom Shopping with Mom
29th Nov - 5k run
30th Nov -
1st Dec -
2nd Dec -

3rd Dec - Standard Chartered 42.195km
4th Dec - Tat's Birthday
5th Dec - Prom Night ("The Red Carpet" -_-)
6th Dec -
7th Dec -
8th Dec -
9th Dec - Pa's Commissioning

=(

I feel like I'm just rushing through my life with no real motive. Hopefully I am able to inspire some of the LTC participants and help them see leadership in a new light, much like how I was inspired last year. And hopefully the camp brings new perspectives into my life as well.

Prom is distressing me. All the anticipated prom shopping is scaring me senseless. Well let's just say that my mom and I perceive prom as very different things. In her eyes, it's just a money-squandering occasion. In mine, well, it's already starting to take the form of a nightmare.

Prom bug: "Hey lose some more weight ! You need to go prom shopping ! You need to sleep more ! You need to learn make-up skills ! You need to...."

Me: "AHHH !"

Yeah that's how distressed I am. Actually I'm beginning to get so much pre-prom blues that excuses of how to skip prom are already formulating in my mind. Kinda wanna extract my wisdom tooth on 4th Dec so I can skip prom the next night due to the pain.

And the 42k run. I am so unprepared and my stamina is still rolling down the hill in a mad avalanche. =(( How am I to survive 6 hours?

But at least I'm grateful that in all this hassle, even if I were to fall in some 12390436539 inches high stilettos, somebody's there to pick me up. =)

I just hope we can all get out of our triangular misery soon.

2006-11-10T12:47:00.000+08:00

I'm happy you're happy I'm happy you're happy.

Basically, very happy. =>

Study hard, everyone ! And thanks for the tags.

To my dearest junior girls, I have faith in you ! See you on Sunday ! =)

2006-10-29T20:35:00.000+08:00

OkGo Dance

WAHAHA !

2006-10-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

Hummer H3 - Three Bears

Haha !

2006-10-25T22:23:00.000+08:00

Panic ! at the Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Enjoy. XD

2006-10-11T21:04:00.000+08:00

I'm starting a love affair with Chemistry and starting to neglect Biology. How? XD

2006-10-11T19:27:00.000+08:00

Feeling a little down and out.

I guess I've still got XY and Mich, but it kinda stinks when people make choices. I'm probably experiencing PMS/mood swings or being oversensitive, but heyy. It hurts to see and hear the things people say and do when they prefer certain people over me. Don't even argue with me. Because only I know who's hurt me. And I'm not even pinpointing the entire group.

Look, I'm sick and tired of all these kay. I appreciate the present, really (although I still don't know who're the people who've so nicely wanted to chip in) but I'm like, just hurt kay. You know, I know, we know I don't like to talk about things that I'd rather keep inside. And no one really listens when I speak anyway. Perhaps it's my fault that I always speak nonsensical stuff and crack silly jokes, that's why people don't take me seriously. But when I start to keep quiet and don't make sounds, people distance themselves from me. What am I to do?

I don't know who to speak to even. I don't want to place others in a tough spot. I don't like the feeling of people 'empathising' with me when they don't know what's going on either. This always happens to me. First, we become friends. Then, we get really close and we have fun and joke a lot and everyone's happy. Next comes along some other person whom the person will be attracted to and then I start becoming obsolete. Unneeded. THROWN ASIDE.

JADED. Yupp. That's the word there all right. I AM JADED.

It's always me. It happened before, it's happening again. Mich tells me I have too many friends. I beg to differ. I have many acquaintances. Half the time, I don't even know if they like me. Insecurities. Now that's what I have too much of.

Everybody likes being loved. If people could just love me a bit more everyday instead of just on my birthday, I'm sure I'd appreciate it a great deal. It seems like after the whole birthday thing, I'm back in the dumps, or officially discarded.

And it's not even like I'm not making an effort to interact. When I do, I make others unhappy. I can't really make everyone happy, right? I'm not Dickson. He's the one picking me up when I fall. I'm the one who keeps falling and then get carried to cloud nine's and then thrown back down to ground by others. But I can't rely on him forever too. Besides, he's got his own life to live.

Sometimes, I wish I could be more simple-minded, more oblivious to my surroundings. Maybe then I'd be a much happier person. Less worries, less troubles, less paranoia.

Ignorance is bliss. Well, I scored pretty low for that GP essay. =S

Maybe it's because I want so much out of life that I'm disappointed so easily. Maybe it's because I'm so full of zeal for all the wrong things to hold so much hope for that I get hurt so bad. Maybe it's because I'm so dependent on others that I experience emotional setbacks so frequently. Maybe it's because I can't let go.

Can anyone undo the knots and twists in my mind? I guess only I can. The problem sure does lie with me. But I have no idea how to tackle it.

And I still wish people could appreciate that I have emotions too that little bit more. I am only human.

2006-10-05T14:44:00.000+08:00

Pokemon Duel 2

Haha LAUGH YOUR ARSE OFF ! XD

2006-10-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

Okies. I am DAMN stressed !!!!!!

[Bio] F-students, come early next Wednesday for remedial with Mrs Anantha.
[Chem] F-students, we have arranged a special lesson to help you.
[Math] F-students, please attend the extra lesson on 17th October. We will arrange another...

EEKS ! I think I can like change my name to Failure Kee Shi Bai already. The way they say it (F-students) makes it sound as if the label is our name ! Like some notorious/prestigious clique (whichever you prefer).

Sia la.

I'm trying very hard to complete my own revision, but with all this crazy remedial going on... And not forgetting the lectures going on concurrently... BOOM ! Goes my tiny little brain that can't hold out much longer. Either that or I start growing an extended skull like Einstein. So maybe by the end of 'A's you'll see me with a luo han fish hump protruding from the back of my head.

Man ! Gotta work very hard man ! Woman ! Whatever !

No time to train abs and leg power and run already ! Plus all that haze going on ! Gosh. Just got no choice but to study huh. I need to complete my revision by next week so I can start doing more practice papers !!!!!

AHHHHHHH !!

//hyperventilates//

27 days to go ! Thou... Shalt... Endureth..... ! This blasphemous catastrophe maims not the great warrior Kee Hui Sin, who is from now on known as Success Kee Cheng Gong ! XP

Okay, gotta go work on my Jimmy Neutron brain size already ! See ya !

2006-10-03T20:13:00.000+08:00

2006-10-02T18:28:00.000+08:00

Okay ! So I've finally fixed the bug in my blog. =) Nice new template. I like. =D Today was a really wonderful day because of this !:

Thanks loads to my darling piggy who spent so much time baking and torturing her feet for long hours in town ! I am so touched ! X) Thanks Foonium also for being willing to pay for my present and forking out like 15 minutes of their time to pass time with me.

I <3 Xiao Yan and Michelyn !

(P.S. Today is not my birthday, do not wish me Happy Birthday. I still have days to try and attain my ideal 160+ height !! Go wish XY instead ! =P)

Since the probability of the people to be mentioned below reading my blog is 0.01, I shall openly declare my utmost unhappiness with some people.

Even if Foonium were to break up for some very seeable reason, I don't really care. I tried to keep it intact. I made effort to attend outings. But if some don't like me, or don't want our "clique" to continue on, it's okay. Not like I'm that desperate for friends. Hew, Mich, and Xiao Yan are already triple the joy (haha three birds ! =P [internal joke]) for me. These 3 matter to me and that's all that counts. The rest can go and poke their noses in books and be concerned over their own sorry butts for all I can.

As for the some $189485232425 that I have thrown out to some people of some relation to me, I don't care if it's not returned. It was well worth the moolah for some darlings, but especially unworthy when it came to some others 'cause it felt like the things chosen were more of gifts from a few people rather than from the entire group. And they even missed out some of us. THANKS. I'm probably gonna be under that group too. But it's okay. At least I know these people can't be bothered with me, so neither am I going to be bothered with them.

Open declaration complete.

Hate the acid? Throw some alkali in then. See if I don't stopper you up in a sealed tube and turn on the bunsen burner.

2006-09-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

I think I'm quite smart kay. Can people stop treating me like a blithering idiot without a trace of brain and commenting on my study method? Honestly. It may feel like the nagging and commenting and "advice" is so very helpful to me and that I will be greatly motivated to study because of these persons' "advice" (in their eyes), but all they're doing is turning the tables and making me feel like a rebellious monster teenager who intends to flunk her As.

So the point is, if you want me to do well, leave me alone to study and just answer my questions when I ask them. Don't make unnecessary remarks like "Oh but you studied so hard, must be your study method wrong" and the sort of stuff. I KNOW myself clearly that I didn't study hard, it's not that I studied very hard and still cannot get things right. Please have faith in me that I know myself well. I'm sure that most of my friends are able to see that I have a mind of my own. So please trust this mind of my own and know that it is a factory of thoughts that is constantly on the go, and have faith that I am guilty for not having mugged hard enough for prelims and slogging it out now.

I'm sorry I have to be so harsh and cruel, but all that assumption going on is really getting to me and I'm sorry to say that I will explode soon if I don't express my intense emotions here.

It'd be great if my dear reader understands that I'm not stupid and completely barging my way around. Most of the time I'm acting stupid only to entertain people, it's like only dumbasses will judge me as being a stupid person just 'cause I act stupid. Ever heard of the phrase: "Think smart, Act stupid"? Yeah. That's one of my mottos, man.

Respect me a little, please. Thanks.

2006-09-23T21:35:00.000+08:00

Suddenly got this blogging fetish and realised I haven't been blogging for a while, so here I am ! Haha. Read my sis's friends' blogs and well, I think they're all pretty darn childish, including my sis. Heh. But it's all right, this sorta stuff that they're going through now serves as entertainment for the later parts of their life. =P

An example? Debbie Lee and me of course ! Sec 2 suddenly-turned enemies to Sec 4 close friends XD

(But of course I love Flo too. =))

Today was my LTC Facil Workshop. Lots of things happened, lots of friends made, lots of stuff learnt. J1s attending, you're gonna have a great learning experience. =)

Made friends with Ming Lin, Lynette, Xiao Ying, Teng Leong, Jun Kai AND Jun Kai. Haha. They're a really fun and wonderful bunch. I'm secretly glad that I went to the workshop today without any friends ! That's how I got to know them. XD I believe my LTC experience is gonna be of a the F level. The FANTASTIC level. LOL. Okay no spoilers, so no sub-camp names to be used. =P

This is random:
Today while in Delifrance deciding if I should grab a cinammon roll as take-out, I overheard this conversation:

Caucasian Lady [CL]: (holding a plate of madeleines)
"... like you won't
call a drink Singapore Sling if it doesn't have the ingredients ! So what are
you going to do about it?"

Manager: (sounded helpless to me)
" I'd get you a refund madam..."

CL: "All right." (walks back to seat where kids are waiting)

After the drama was over, I shook my head (in my head) in disgust at the lady who wanted refund for little French cuisine that cost less than $5 and decided that I should focus my attention back to the shelves of pastries...

[1 min later] My beloved cinammon rolls have become cinammon croissants.
Now where's the manager? Cinammon rolls cannot be cinammon croissants ! Don't they know that rolls taste very differently from croissants ! They can't just cook up such random and disgusting dishes ! Now now, we certainly aren't going to make an oiled up version of Singapore Sling the Singapore Slick either ! That's gonna taste just as wrong as cinammon croissants !

Back to unrandom events. =)

Actually I can't remember what anymore. So tata, till the next blog entry !

O yes Nicholas Pa, dotter misses you and MOMMIE ! ^^

2006-08-24T11:39:00.000+08:00

A smile from You can go a long, long way.

Please keep smiling at me ! I think I've fallen for your smile.

2006-08-17T19:17:00.000+08:00

People who've just embarked on their teenage years can be especially annoying.

I'm glad I'm in my late teens. =)

Gotta study hard !

2006-08-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

Still ill. =(

Just want to run and study. Drive the blues away.

//takes out a broom and sweeps blue stuff into a Merz and drives into a tree//

2006-08-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

The Internet and the amount it's achieved.

The opening up of society. The emancipation of women. The exchange of information on a global scale. Globalisation. The shrinking, flat world. The larger income gap.

What I've learnt from GP, I can apply.

Women are freed. The poor are enslaved even more so to their fates. More and more of the developing world is seeing the light. More and more children are liberated from slavery. More and more animals are killed. The world is getting warmer and warmer. Ice caps are melting. Sea levels are rising. Oil prices are inflating. I change from an animal rights supporter to one who questions the true motive of animal rights activists.

I question more than I absorb these days. When in doubt, I choose not to believe. That is what GP's made out of me. This young, soon to be 18-year-old.

Scroll until you see text if you REALLY wanna read. I'm warning you that it's not for the average reader. Probably just for people who can stand my sometimes extremist views.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
Who's not at all respected by her fellows. Looked upon as one who's stained by a string of Os and Fs and shunned by those high and mighty, those who attain their assumingly beautiful As, Bs and Cs thanks to their lacklustre life and indeed, "PASSION" for studying (or would it be more appropriate to say, MEMORISING).

Seen by her mentors as only interested in fun, too socially active and too lackadaisical with academia? Who sees the picture of her toiling in the night now, trying desperately to catch up with the rest who have jostled her in the ribs, stepped on her feet and worst, thrown her all sorts of dirty looks in the mad race to the finish of their JC career?

On the track physically, I daresay I've been one of the faster and longer-lasting runners. Yet on the track academically, have I been so? The answers is a resoundingly clear no. I have definitely not tried my best. Even now, as I try and try, it might be too late. But I try not to give up. I try to continue on, for whatever little light is shining at the end of the academic tunnel leads me, not because the eyes of this very blind man have suddenly been cured while he recognises the rat race; but because his heart knows and has faith in that little light, and that it will be brighter and brighter as I walk on, even if the journey is to be 42 195 km, 1000 times the distance I will run this year end.

For those who have been dropping me LONG tags unbeknownst by the rest and so observant... You might find something at the usual place.

I won't give up.

2006-08-06T12:52:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Haven't been studying for the past two days... AT ALL.

But still, the days weren't spent in vain. =) I like what I've done with my time, so it's okay. At least all those emotions of high-strung anxiety are now relieved. But I won't idle today away. The yesterdays were spent as productive stress relievers; Today, it's going to be a productive day revising !

I love myself. Hai hai !

Gambatte !

2006-08-05T23:39:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUN XIONG !

=)

Arcade's fun ! I wanna play lots next time. XD ARCADE ARCADEY AWAY ! Heh.

I think it'd be fun if there's a lucky draw that has top prize UNLIMITED ARCADE CREDIT FOR ALL MACHINES AT BUGIS/COMPASSPOINT FOR A DAY and I get to win it ! Haha. Just one day will make me very happy. XD Of course, I have to be allowed to bring my friends to go with me. I think I know who I'll bring along. Teehee. Today's been a great day !

Imagine arcading for unlimited... Oh no ! I'm seriously getting addicted. =P Like I said before, my future dardar (AHAHAHA. Internal joke.) will bring me to arcade for unlimited credit for one of our dates. =) HEH.

I don't care what people wanna say about my size anymore. It doesn't matter as long as I'm happy. =)

Tralala.

I wanna go clothes shopping. I wanna run a lot. I wanna chomp on yummy stuff. I wanna play lots of arcade games. I wanna work at running lab. I wanna hang out with great friends. I wanna do well for A's. I wanna study hard.

JIAYOU everyone. Let's go !

Haha. I love Anger Management. Jack Nicholson's good. =))

Jack Nicholson: BumBumBUM(3X)

I feel pretty,
Oh so pretty,
I
feel pretty and witty and gay,

And I pitty,
Any girl who isnt me
today,

Jack Nicholson: Lalalalalalalala

I feel charming,
Oh
so charming,
It's alarming how charming i feel,

Angery Driver #1:
Move your ass dip shit!

And so pretty that I hardly beleive im real,
Jack Nicholson: lalalalalalala,

Angery Driver #2: Burn in hell!

See that pretty girl in that mirror there (what mirror where)
Who
can taht attractive girl be (which one where hum)
What a pretty face(Hum)
What a pretty dress(Hum)
What a pretty smile(Hum)
What a pretty
meeee(Hummm)

I feel stunning(feel stunning)
And entrancing(and
entrancing)
Both:Feel like running and dancing for joy
for im loved by a
pretty wonderful boy!

Note:Adam Sandler sang everything except for the
words in ( ) that
Jack Nicholson sang.

2006-08-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA. Conditioner's working ! If all goes well, I think by my targetted date of completion for the SIP (Self Improvement Plan), my hair should be pretty pretty instead of LION MANE ! =))

O yes. I was doing Bio. Still doing. Conservation ! I like it, even though it's darn long-winded. Kinda gets me wondering... Because I do Biology, does that mean I have to support the ideas of biologists? Actually, I don't really support a lot of them. Heh. Go figure.

Hopefully that woman doesn't waste my time tomorrow. Ha. O well, at least I've already saved 3 hours this week =))

O ya, the purpose of blogging now is to exclaim shock at my oblivion, that only after seeing a person around for nearly 1.5 years did I realise that this person has an uncanny resemblance to my well... Past love ! Haha !

Ooh. Juicy news about the past I choose NOT to leak out. HAHA. I happen to like the mystery shrouding my past. Heh.

Just now I looked into the mirror after my shower and realised that I really look way better without specs ! No wonder people've been staring. But at least now people are getting used to it. XD Anyhoos, don't worry people. I'll eventually stop wearing them and don my lenses again. Ha. But not anytime soon. And like I told Zhen You, I'm not parading myself or trying to impress anyone in school, so I don't really bother about this issue anymore. Heh.

Okies, time to go mug ! Coffee break over ! Tata !

2006-08-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

Gosh. I'm so stressed. =(

But I think I can still hold on, at least until 'A's are over... So don't worry people ! =)

Still, I won't be able to entertain you guys on my life so much already... And to my juniors reading my blog, I'm sorry I haven't been turning up for trainings like I've promised... yet. Not to worry, though. 'Cause you'd be seeing a lot of me after 'A's are over. It's the peril period for me now, gotta go all out ! So yeah, hope I get your understanding. 5 hours (2 hours transport, 2 hours training, 1 hour miscellaneous) is too much to sacrifice for someone with ailing academia and report cards that look as though red ink spilled over. Yupp.

Meanwhile, train hard !

To my 2 attached juniors and heir of QM ! Strive hard ! Give your best and you will see results ! Never say die. =) Anything can always look for me. I can't spare 5 hours, but I can spare 50 minutes. ^^

P.S. Your farewell gifts are on their way ! WAIT ! Patience is a VIRTUE. How about this... 3 pull-ups in exchange for the gifts? Satisfy my condition ! LOL.

2006-07-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

Helloos people ! I need your help !

Well, to cut things short:

Please sms/e-mail/snail mail me any healthy and tasty Western/Japanese food recipes ! Cannot be too difficult to make ! My mom needs them to aid in her battle against the mean old haggy naggy faggy stall no. 4 auntie in my primary school ! YOU can help in the battle. =)
Please sms me if you happen to be in possession of any Adrian Mole books ! The urge to read is making me go itchy itchy all over my brain ! XP

Thanks peeps ! X)

2006-07-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

DESI BODY Bilder Dance

Check out that butt !
XD

2006-07-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

=(

It's funny the way my self-esteem is so easily shattered nowadays. I don't even believe much about myself anymore. I guess it's the way my brain's been moulded to believe what everyone says about me.

Maybe I have to do a Bee Fong to gain some bit of love and recognition for my efforts.

Actually, I don't really like people to think that I fake asthma attacks or to laugh at it. Because it really sucks when they come. It's not like I like them too. Does anybody even understand the feeling of pushing so hard and nearly making it to a whole new level of running speed only to fall back to ground zero 'cause of one relapse? Be it shin splints or asthma.

I try so hard but nobody sees it.

I try my darn hardest but I don't succeed.

I can't mingle for goodness' sake. Always the oddball. Nowhere right.

The more I try, the harder I fall.

Everyone's changing and so am I. But I wonder, have I been changing for better or for worse?

Yet those who aren't even born with any of such health defects don't even try hard and they still get to row. Still get to bask in the glory others fought for. People like LES***. (I didn't say it's him. It might be a LESLIE. Fine. Whatever.) Assholes like one in my class who didn't do anything when the rest worked their butts off and still got a Grade 1 for slacking around and doing useless stuff. Oh and need I mention this asshole's probably got a beautiful testimonial coming up?

I hate the way I'm flunking GP. I like GP. It's supposed to be my best subject. I'm not scoring anymore. I can't infer, I can't think deeply, I have shallow thoughts. I'm starting to wonder what happened to the critical mind that once belonged to me. Have I become too influenced by others? Peer pressure? Diffusion of personalities? Sigh. I can only blame myself for mixing with the wrong company (note: it's only referring to one person.)

You say I'm becoming fatter. And then you tell me LESTER is now 80kg. Whoopees. That's like darn light man. And thanks for using the word fatter. When your dear friend has clearly become a blob of fats. I wonder. If he's made up of 20% fat, that would make him 16kg of fats. 16kg of fats would translate to almost 30% fat for me if I'm still my old weight. If you don't consider him fat, then I am fat? Haha. NICE ONE. Wrong choice of words there. It's the word I'm most sensitive to now.

Some people just blabber away without even processing thoughts through their puny little brains (or whatever that's left of them). Agree with every single little thing others say. Repeat verbatim without thought process. (All these not just referring to person aforementioned.) And then they think they're being smart. Yeah. Maybe. In your dreams ya.

I'm frustrated.

Since when have I become only one thing on people's minds?

What thing? BIG.

One whole big chunk of random thoughts pieced together into a blog entry above. Now for the real deal of today's blogging:

I will, as of this moment, 19th July 2006, 23:14 (GMT +08:00), swear by these things until 7th October 2006, 00:00 :

Eat morsel amounts daily.
- Even for birthday celebrations for other people, buffets (which I wouldn't be attending in the first place) and outings.
- Meaning lots of greens and fruits.
- Strictly no snacking after dinner.
- Resist temptations.
- Drink only water when in doubt of hunger.
- Keep to cheap meals as much as possible.
- In the event that no morsel amount is served, I will stick to plain water or the healthiest item available.
Sleep at least 7 hours on weekdays and 8 hours on weekends.
- To bed by 11pm. (Today's the only exception.)
Pack my bag every night before sleeping.
- So I don't have to fumble through my stuff in the morning.
Study at least 5 hours on weekdays (excluding school hours) and 10 hours on weekends.
Save at least $2 everyday.
Exercise 4-5 days a week.
Create a study-cum-SP on 20 July 2006.
Return home earliest by 20:00 every night.
- To avoid certain stuff.
Keep to 1.5 hours online when online.
This contract shall be terminated in the event that I am found dead due to:
Direct Causes (by myself)
- Insufficient nutrients
- Excessive exercise
- Mental breakdown
Indirect Causes (by others)
- Stress factor
- Irritance by people who insist that I am fat, ultra-brainless people, disbelievers of my actions; basically people who annoy me.
- Discrimination;

or if I do more than just a Bee Fong.

Thought this suits the occasion well:

Kasey Chambers
Not Pretty Enough
Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I
too outspoken

Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why
do you see right through me

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I
sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I've waited long
enough
I try as hard as I can
I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's
real

I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take
it like a man
I try as hard as I can

That's all folks. Have fun laughing at everything I do.

2006-07-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter Comic Relief

Laugh your pants off ! XD

2006-07-17T19:24:00.000+08:00

Zidane vs. Materazzi

Haha !

2006-07-17T02:17:00.000+08:00

Okay okay. So I wasn't going off to sleep. I was laughing at Friendster's collection of comedic material again. Haha.

But who's to blame me huh? Haha. Here's my take:

If you have juniors so darn ugly in a CCA that depends so much on appearances, and you can, without closing your eyes, type the caption "pretty" for your photo with someone so not up to the definition of pretty, then something is seriously wrong ! But never mind, adds more laughter to my life.

People who wish to be entertained, approach Hui Sin. Be forewarned, though, that the graphics may be so hideous your eyes might just fall out of their sockets. HAHA.

Oh yeah. Await the transformation of rarr. Coming... Soon? I won't say when, but soon. =)

2006-07-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

Event: Shape Run 2006 (1st women's run in Singapore)
Distance: 10km
Route: Marina Promenade - Nicoll Highway - National Stadium - and back
Time taken: 1:09:14

Man. I've like lost my mental strength almost totally. It was a pretty bad run. A lot of mental chatter at the start. Initially I was gonna accompany Mich all the way, or at least serve as her pacer. But then she told me to go ahead, and the competitive Huisin inside was like "Hell, why not?"

So I went ahead, caught up with Pei Si and Xiao Yan, then overtook them. Well, Xiao Yan caught up and overtook me soon. But I wasn't intent on catching up 'cause from the start of the run I already knew my running status: 50% of cross country standard (BTW, cross country standard is my best effort at running, so yeah, that's my gauge.)

Okay so at the starting point my problem was the bloating and feel-like-shitting part (actually the crappy part lasted throughout the run. Ooh and guess what. I only shat just 2 hours ago. Haha) but luckily (or unluckily) for me, mental chatter took over as the main problem.

From starting line to 10km finishing point, my mind was going through too much mental chatter. No quiet moment at all. There was persevere-on-me fighting the just-give-up-me and god, the journey was tough. I stopped after the water stop at about 4 or 5km and walked for about 4 minutes before continuing to run. What inspired me to run?

Well... I would say it was the Nike advertisement. =) The one for Nike Free, about this guy running on a barren path, speaking to himself. The tagline for the ad goes like this:

Leave your old self behind. Reincarnate now.

I always remember what the guy said to his devil: "I'm done with you." And then he ran on by himself, leaving his old self behind.

So I imagined myself struggling with this pseudo-evil-self, pushing it out of my body, then I perform a stampede of about 5 steps on it and ran on. I felt like I was flying after that ! Haha. Sounds comical, but it sure worked for me. X))

Anyhow, after that, I thought Heyy ! Why not I spur others on? It's like in this way I won't have the opportunity to slack, 'cuz I must lead by example. =) So I did and I was sure glad to see one woman start running immediately after I muttered JIA YOU ! to her with a smile. She smiled back. Sure made my day !

I've realised that I often use second party terms on myself, and that my competitive edge had already taken on an ugly twist this morning. Well, all thanks to the run. It was really eventful, really. The 4 minutes walk had me rethink a lot of things about myself, my mentality, my state of mind, and my relating mind to body not as separate entities but as one whole.

The result was wonderful. I started to stress on the I, the me, the my. And instead of forcing myself to run on through encouragement that manifested negatively ("Come on ! Catch up ! She's far ahead ! You're far behind !"), I went for things like Yeah I can do it ! (instead of you can do it) and I feel good ! Da da da da da da da !

Haha. Lots of mental chatter and struggling, but yeah. I did it.

I'm proud of myself, and glad that I walked. Because without that 4 minutes of walking, I wouldn't have rediscovered myself. I would have let my competitiveness engulfed me entirely, with no chance of salvation. It was that 4 minute walk that got me, myself and I back.

The me that loves completing the run and not just winning and breaking records. The myself that loves myself and not just my mind or body alone. The I that speaks in first person and drives me on.

On a lighter note, the 4 of us kapo-ed one more goodie bag than we're supposed to get (it's 'cause of their lousy management la !) Quote Mich's Dad:

Mich's Dad: "So we should all learn something out of this... That next time when you organise an event, make sure they (the participants) get only one (goodie bag) with each tag they return..."

Yeah man ! So not our fault that we did the experiment of taking one more goodie bag. HAHA.

Anyway, I went ecstatic over the contents in the bag after I reached home ! But I'll just highlight the more important ones I can remember:

Shape Bag
Certificate of Completion
Shape Magazines
Shape Socks
Loreal Dermabrasion Kit
Teeth Whitening Kit
Walsh Body Foam
Witch Facial Foam and Zit Control Cream
Herbal Essence Shampoo
Summer's Eve Feminine Care
Bioessence Celebrity's Choice Slimming Body Lotion
Nike Towel
Nike Bottle
High 5 Bread
Kleenex Tissue
Heliocare
Comfort Zone Vital Leg Cream Gel
Ocean Health Minus Fat (30 Capsules)
Ocean Health Multivitamin Pill
Pocari Sweat
Kenzoki
Plush ! x 3 satchets
Equal Dispenser (30 sugar pills)
Sugar-Free White Coffee
Running Lab 15% Discount Voucher
Acuvue One-Day Disposables ($10 off)
Mary Chia Paraffin Hand Moisturising Treatment (One Free Treatment)

So double everything and that's what I've got. =) And that's not even including all the vouchers and free yoga or gym sessions I found useless and threw out. Haha.

The funny thing happens here:
I was clearing out the contents of the bag when I realised the slimming lotion was leaking. So I applied all the leakage on my thigh, arms and tummy and guess what, they burnt throughout the day from afternoon till night. Even now there's still a slight burning sensation ! Haha. Sure hope it works ! And guess what. 'Cuz I wanna see if it really works, I only applied on my right thigh instead of both ! Meaning if the right looks slimmer tomorrow... I think I'll finish the 2 tubes within this week. HAHA XD

Being nice, I gave all the slimming stuff ('cept the Bioessence lotion LOL) and one bag to my mom, one Nike bottle to my sis and all the sugar free stuff to my dad. My brother got the Vitagen.

On a rather random and different note, I promise I will balance my studies with my running and swimming habits from now on. =)

Okay, time to sleep. But first, this:

Next Up:
New Balance Real Run (10km)
Army Half Marathon (21km)
Singapore Marathon (42.195km)

The desire to run, the passion to complete, the hunger to ace.

2006-07-15T01:43:00.000+08:00

YAWN ! I'm still awake. Gosh. It's like 1:40 ?!

And I'm not done with the J1s' gifts. See la. Act smart. Make for them. //grumble grumble//

Oh well. I've started on one, so gotta finish it.

So far... Caroline, Bao, Sarah, Jin Yen, Yvonne, honghong, n i think tt's all for now. I'm pretty tired. Actually just turning up tomorrow shld be pretty much of a cause for happiness for them already. HAHA.

YAWN.

I don't know why, but after completing Sarah's, I had this vision of her whining at me......

Sarah: Huisiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn....

Shudders.

2006-07-13T19:45:00.000+08:00

Haha I thought of this joke on my way home from school today:

What do you call a person without abs?

AN ABSENTEE !!

//loads of laughing in the background//

Haha ! Get it, get it? XD

2006-07-13T01:16:00.000+08:00

i run to you.

2006-07-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

O ya. Anybody got a sari or cheongsam to lend?

Because Racial Harmony's next week and I need to dress in other ethnic costumes. Well, naturally my friends want me to wear cheongsam cuz they say I have to lend them my nonexistent saris, but I'm looking for a nice sari. AHAHA. So... Anybody wanna lend? XD

2006-07-12T23:12:00.000+08:00

Continuing from the previous post about people lining up to speak to my manager and agents...

Keen to get me a boyfriend? Here's the specs:

Charismatic
Spiky Haired PLEASE !
Nice bod. 6-pack must be better than my soon-to-appear ones. (They're still bickering la k.)
Rich.
MESMERISING.
Murderous eyes. So I can faint in his arms everytime we have eye contact. XD
Piggybacks ! This is a must. Cuz Huisin cannot walk now. And sometimes she feels lazy.
Darkly humorous.
Baddest good boy. =)
Smartass so he can finish my tutorials.

Basically, he should look something like this:

Muacks muacks. O Shiro-chan ! If only you exist in reality ! //drools into waffle paper bag//

2006-07-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

http://www.joelogon.com/home.html

If you don't laugh at this you have absolutely zero sense of humour ! Made me ecstatic. LOL.

Okay. I know. Last post of the last. =P

2006-07-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

Okay, I've been posting a tad bit too much today, but I promise this is tonight's last post ! Just can't resist this one after reading my Inbox...

From : Hek Ming
Reply-To : NYJC_dragonboat
Sent : Tuesday, July 11, 2006 7:29 PM
To : NYJC_dragonboat
Subject : [NYJC_dragonboat] Wed Training And Some
Stuff

Hey people..
Attire: Bailong

Be at track at 0300.. Will tell you all if there are any changes to the
time.. Dun have a heavy lunch.. Cyas tmr yeah..

So here's my response...

2006-07-11T22:32:00.000+08:00

Was just talking to Yvonne (Chang). Haha. About love lives and buddies ! She's tempting me to get married man !

But the thing is... NO ONE to marry ! =((

AHAHA ! But nonono, anyone who wants to date me must go through my MANAGER already. So I think if anyone wants to marry me he has to go through my MANAGER first, then my CIRCLE OF AGENTs (made up of Dickson, Jian Hao, Xuans, Jun Xiong, Zhen You, and all those in the usual DB study group. Except Hariz and Huiting. Cuz Huiting a bit blur ar, cannot trust and Hariz will pick me not an ugly, but fugly guy. =P)

But I think I don't dare to ask if anyone wants to marry me la. Scared the applicants flood Mediacorp and SPH with advertisements to propose. Then I cannot watch Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy already. Can only watch advertisements of people proposing. A bit sian to keep watching guys trying to win me over ar.

O ya. Today I ran for 25 minutes on Forest Trail mode on the treadmill. Which was kinda crazy cuz I set the maximum inclination to 10.0 and maximum speed to 14.0 (at first). Later I lowered the maximum speed to 11.0 cuz I'd have flew off the treadmill running at that speed on a slope. HAHA. But I'm still very happy cuz throughout the entire run I was picturing myself running upslope along MacRitchie while Mr Loke ran on a kick scooter (Po: "Fai di Fai di, Fai di !" [Translation: (in cantonese) "Faster faster, faster faster"]). HA !

And my mom can't stop touching my face and looking at me when I came home 'cuz she thinks it's egg-smooth ! X)) Of course la, I've been washing it diligently and applying moisturiser and sunblock everyday ! If I go into the sun I even make extra effort to slap on some After-Sun Lotion. Ha. Super vain.

[conversation between mom and me at the dinner table]
Mom: (looking at me) "Eh your skin very smooth ar? Black black yet red red one, very pretty lehh !"
rarr: (raising my eyebrows up and down) "Haha ! I got bao yang (take care) one kay !"

[conversation between mom and me at the kitchen sink]
rarr: "Just now on the ride home, Daddy's friend said that I don't look like him at all !"
Mom: "Cuz you're pretty what !"
rarr: "O... I think I know what you're gonna say nex..." (interrupted)
Mom: (interrupting) "Cuz you look like me !"

Haha ! Thought my mom was being pretty cute. AND not to mention, HONEST. XD

I've just started on my body moisturising cream, body scrubs and hair conditioners too ! Haha. I'm going crazy with all these vanity products. XD

2006-07-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

DESPAIR, DRAGONBOAT JUNIOR GIRLS !!!

It seems like your Mr Mesmerising's got the HOTS for a particular Ouyang Xuansheng in the team ! XD

Is Mr Mesmerising turning gay? Is he out of his mind? What makes him crave for a human who can't decide if it's male or female?

Find out from the blogger herself ! Approach Hui Sin directly in school. Best-selling news for only a minimum fee of 1 gossip per person. X))

2006-07-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

School's starting tomorrow !! =((((((((((

I'm in such a holiday mood !

rarr.

2006-07-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

I'm soooooo euphoric after my run ! AH HAHA. (Feeling a bit ditzy in fact.)

Ooo. Come to think of it, I mood swing LOADS ! Gawd.

I ate 3 NACHOs just now !! AHH ! The impending fats depositing themselves on my baby 6-pack !! NOOOOOOooooooo.....

=(((

I'm supposed to be doing my overdue (by 1 month) testimonial for Mrs Boo now, but I'm too distracted by all the other fun things to do online. Things like checking out ZINEDINE ZIDANE's profile. Gosh. I know nuts about football but I know loads about cute guys ! X))

Okay, back to my running.

I ran like 30 minutes just now, warm up and down = 15 minutes, worked abs for 15 minutes. I feel so disciplined, I think my abs are so very proud of me ! Can just feel them vying with each other to decide who comes out first already:

( 1 )( 2 )
( 3 )( 4 )
( 5 )( 6 )

1 and 2: "Us first ! We're always the first !"
3 and 4: "No way ! We're in the middle, we show better, us first !"
5 and 6: "Ahh shut up ! It's always you 4. We NEVER made an appearance the last time !"

//sound of quarrelling//

AHAHA. I know that's not how it works. But who cares, really. XD Oo ya, the lines on my back are reappearing ! Whoo whee, turning sexxxyy ! HAHA. Behold, DB guys, for you guys will regret ever criticising Hui Sin once she evolves into School Flower ! AHAHA.

//guys lining up for HS' number//
rarr: "How many times do I have to tell you? My number's reserved for Zizou, Jaba and my potential Michael Phelps'es ! Speak to my manager !"
mr lee: "Yes, I am her manager. No, you're not good-looking enough. You? Eh, not rich enough. That one over there ! Yes you. You might have a chance ! What do you say you tan a little so that you look more suitable..."

Speak to my manager ! AHAHAHA. I have big dreams for myself. XD

Alrightey, gotta go do the testimonial already. I do feel bad about wasting Mrs Boo's time. Really ! Gosh, so many things to do... And not forgetting the farewell presentS... Man. I'm gonna die ! Catch me, Zidane !

//flops onto a baguette//

2006-07-10T17:13:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I realised maybe all I have to do is to avoid them for a while.

But then I realise I don't have many friends. And the worst social taboo is for someone to be alone. Yeah I don't like to be alone too. Maybe that's why I've been putting up with everyone and everything.

Foonium... Nobody bothers to stay anywhere with me. I need somebody. Someone truly mine. Not a guy. Someone... Like her. Alone is an understatement, perhaps?

July is here. Someone to miss.

Going running.

2006-07-10T16:41:00.000+08:00

All the shat that happened. Actually the chalet wasn't very eventful for me, besides the fact that I finally learnt how to play mahjong.

The chalet stinks, literally. Cigarette stench all over. Even the stuffed cat reeks of cigarette. I'm going to wash and deodorise everything I brought along. I hate smokers.

The match sucked. Zidane got a red card, my poor cutie. Ahh shucks. Otherwise Italy wouldn't have won. Oh well. Looks like I'd be camping out at Delifrance for the next few weeks and skipping Pastamania. And I'd probably see some serious boycotting of pasta at Delifrance? Nahh. Pasta is too lucrative a business for them. =P

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't think I'm very good at managing my anger still. Don't know why, but I woke up pretty annoyed and ANGSTY (as Mr Kong likes to put it) just 5 minutes ago. Over what they said. It's like, what the hell, you've got something to say, just say it. It's the "Oooohhh. Better don't say ! Later I kena..." or "Cannot, cannot. From now on cannot say already... Later someone angry" and then all that senseless chuckling that kinda gets on my nerves. It's like, what the hell !! I mean, spit it out ! Let's just get over with the nonsense and move on?

It was probably only during a small part of the journey (maybe half the time on the van) that I felt like that, so yeah. But don't know why I suddenly recalled it and it sorta got to me. Just know I have to blog about it. Dumping all that pent up anger in the dumping ground again.

I used to not mind people teasing me, but I think it sucks when they kinda go overboard and can't gimme a break to breathe in-between. EVERYTHING and ANYTHING that I say or do, be it conscious of subconscious, is subjected to their penultimate teasing, much to my displeasure.

And I've realised the only way I express annoyance or irritance is through anger. People say they get scared when I throw them dirty looks or glare at them, but it seems to me more like lip service that they are paying instead of due respect for what I feel. They aren't scared. They just treat it like I've a short fuse (true) and ignite easily.

I know, but I still let them tease.

I know, but I continue to explode.

I know, but I don't express my grievances.

I think the freaking problem lies with me actually. Me and my inability to properly express myself. But then again, if you wanna attempt to quit the teasing, could you at least do it in a nicer and more complete manner? Don't end halfway or make useless remarks? Ahh whatever. Just saying some of my ideas that NEVER work. Bullshit, bullshit, more bullshit. I don't even know if I should think anymore. This is all getting too depressing for my puny little brain. Or some of you may wish to argue, that I don't even HAVE a brain. Ya whatever.

FUCK.

And that nice little vulgarity everyone loves to say shall remain on my blog for as long as I wish. MY dumping ground anyway.

2006-07-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

I was looking through photos in my phone when I chanced upon this. Decided to do something to the photo for some effect. Haha. Tagg, people ! I'll reply in 2 days' time when I return from Changi Chalet ! Cya !

*** Disclaimer: The identity of the person in the photo below is protected (out of his/her own efforts) and will not be revealed unless s/he decides to unveil his/her secret identity. Hence, the author of this blog will not be held accountable for any disturbances made to any person bearing resemblance to the person below. All comments made are purely suggestions of the author. They cannot be taken as fact until proven by the author that the subject of the photo indeed bears a bubble tea belly and acted like an auntie at Bedok Reservoir on 26th June 2006. Woops.

2006-07-08T23:53:00.000+08:00

Instead of wishing our children would grow up faster, hoping teenagers would mature earlier, why don't we ask for adults to become children once again?

Adults can be the most childish creatures on Earth, if you go by the ADULT definition for childish. (Not child-like, but immature.)

2006-07-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

The mid-years are finally over !! YAYS ! XD

From now on, it's intensive running+weights training+swimming+(studying^3)+sleeping ! Gonna draw up a timetable tonight. XP

I think I'm not gonna go out anytime soon after today. As in, no more towning for me in outside clothes. Until I drop ANOTHER size (meaning I have already dropped one).

And no more restaurant food. Each week I will only spend like... $15 on food ! Err. $5 on weekdays. $5 for Sat and $5 for Sun respectively. I will dine at home about every alternate day? So I can save money for the next HC purchase as well as some serious wardrobe revamp.

I'm throwing out all those clothes that I won't be wearing again. Think that means I'm only keeping like 10% of my wardrobe. Whoo. Which makes me wonder why my mom insists that I have a lot of clothes. I think she means I have a lot of OLD, passe clothes and that whatever new clothing I have: POLO TEES. Yah.

I will lose 50 000 kg and become an electron floating around before I exit the safety of school clothes, tees, polo tees and FBT shorts.

It's so depressing. I think I'm undergoing bust size descent as well. Man.

Congrats to Zonglin, Elaine, Alicia, Hariz, Saraaah, my dearest team and all those who won ! If you've done your best, you deserve the medal/trophy ! Yays !

Completely random post. =P

2006-07-06T14:19:00.000+08:00

Bleach New ED !!

Whoo whees ! Haha. Love this one. Super catchy ! I totally love the part where Koh acts all cool, shaking his head with the rhythm. LOL. Darling darling !

2006-07-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

Today we had our DB Fest heats for 20 mixed, 20 mens and 10 womens. We got into the Semis for 20 mixed and 20 mens, and well, let's just say we really did our best for 10 womens and it just happened that with all our suayness, the currents generated were against us, our starts stink, quite a few of us kept looking out of the boat (and the worst part: getting demoralised), our coxswain tried his best but ya, drummer not clear, boat cuts, I can go on and on. But the thing is, we didn't make it to the semis although it was much anticipated. But at least we did our best. No one is disappointed with her own performance, and that's really what matters in a race.

Dare you say you can sustain 800m in a small boat with all the worst conditions?

I felt like I did the best set with that worst set. Heh.

On a brighter note, mixed boat totally rawwked because despite the dumb guy who nearly disqualified us because he can't count a boat with 20 men with just 10 fingers, some moron who nearly had us back paddle into other boats and angered us and our dear coach-cum-tic-cum-friend-cum-mentor-cum-advisor-blahblah, a super slippery boat, cuts and nicks, no last charge, wasted "smart move", we still came in second. Heh. I really think we could have won the first boat with all those conditions out. Just wait, tomorrow, we'd shine.

Anyway, mixed was a frenzy of emotions for me, because I so badly want a medal that links the guys and girls in our team together, and also because I get to row with all my best friends in my cca in this boat. So yeah ! All out !

Sadly enough, asthma episode.

Heyy, at least I did my best. I hate it when asthma strikes, still. So tomorrow, I'm gonna inhale deeper puffs, bring my own loaf of bread (since Mr Lee doesn't supply) and make sure I kick till my legs can't get me out of the boat and I have to lean on Dickson after rowing or my back will just snap into half. Haha.

And. I keep thinking about this (something NYJC Dragonboaters will be familiar with):

... It's the perfect day for the perfect race set... You're seated in your favourite position... Your teammates sitting around you will support you all the way...

That's exactly what I felt sitting in that position. Dickson in front of me to spur me on when I wanna die, Jian Hao and Kenneth behind me (like literally) to push me on when my mental strength begins to cave in, Xue Ling next to me to inspire me, Kannan, I cannot see.

HAHA !

Okay. That was kinda anti-climax. But anyway, that was really what I felt (except the Kannan part). It's like the best posittion I can get in the mixed boat, having 3 best friends X) around me and 1 auntie (AH Xue Ling AH !) to nag at me. Hoho.

Anyhoos, I got pretty bored after taking care of the stuff for so long and resting, although I still didn't feel very good, I decided to take a walk and take some photos. Didn't take a lot, though. But since I haven't been posting photos on my blog for a long time, just some photos to entertain you guys for a while. Heh.

Loads of tents !
Hello Mr Clown ! =)
The girls watching our race video
Our bags
THE Board - Where pleasant surprises or nasty shocks await

2006-06-29T23:40:00.000+08:00

I'm just sulking away. Don't bother.

If anyone of you know how to comment that Sarah's being such a poor thing being bullied nuts by you guys, then why don't you admit that you've been bullying me crazy. If you know she'd explode one day, why don't you admit I might too.

Things just go on and on. Maybe it's time I put up some resistance.

Don't even bother to say the J1s don't respect me. Even you guys don't.

2006-06-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

I haven't been very happy lately. =(

My tummy hurts half the time.

Everyone's talking about Miss Big.

He doesn't want to listen to me.

The guys assume I'm jealous over them.

People want me to be someone I'm not.

Everytime I find myself like this, I realise all I want is you. Hell. Do you even miss me or have you even relied on me this much? I don't know. If the answer is no, I don't want to know. 'Cuz I really miss you, especially when the days left to July get lesser and lesser... I think I'm skipping school on a Friday. Listen, I don't really care if you're gonna oppose or not. You didn't even give me a chance to oppose.

2006-06-29T22:10:00.000+08:00

I'm not jealous.

2006-06-26T22:42:00.000+08:00

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to
her talking to her little brother.

Haha. I found that funny ! But pretty true. think I love my little brother. But I am kinda horrible to him sometimes. Still, I think I don't mistreat him =) Should be pretty okay.

xxxxx

The most unexpected emotion.

How would I know why I'm feeling this way?

2006-06-23T00:02:00.000+08:00

I'm totally glad about everything that happened today. Love Nanyang, not for the JC, but for the people that exist there. (Oh, definitely not including the people who want us to study but lock up EVERY SINGLE CLASSROOM in school and let groups of less than 5 people hog available air-conditioned container classrooms.)

I think I'm doomed for mid-years.

I actually know a lot of things but I forget them so easily I need lots of refreshing. Think Mr Sng's very right about repeating what you study like 7 times. Hmm. Thought about this when we chatted about Ku Klux Klan today.

Lots of happyhappy things happened today that made my day shine brightly.

Oh yes, I think I have a new study group. XD

And they think I can blush. Haha. And I thought they insisted that I have too dark a complexion for colour 'cept my skin colour to be seen? LOL.

A totally random post. But when the fun gets busy, and time runs short, you just don't have enough time to blog.

I'll post the many photos with me up someday. =))

2006-06-21T14:34:00.000+08:00

I'm not particularly sure why, but I haven't been very interested or excited in telling anyone about our race...

Maybe because I'm sick of seeing people try to be excited over what I'm telling them or try to understand when they don't feel a thing.

Maybe because they didn't bother to come down to support us when they bothered to support the other CCAs.

Maybe because some of them forgot about our competition and only asked for the sake of asking.

Maybe because I'm just being anti-social and prefer to be excited within the very exclusive boundary I've painted for myself.

Maybe because I didn't like them thinking aloud that the girls are inferior because we won no Overall Champs.

Maybe because I didn't like them to think that NJC is invincible.

Maybe because they only see the importance of medals and not the fighting process.

Maybe because to them, it isn't anything more than another CCA with another race. But to me, it's all I've lived for for the past 1 and a half years. And I don't like to see others dismiss what matters so much to me as matter-of-factly as most of them do.

Maybe I've found that answer why I don't like to talk to others about my race anymore. Because it's MY RACE. Yes I'm selfish, but if I have a choice, I'd rather not talk about it and risk seeing feelings so not genuine, facial expressions so awkward and made just to pacify. I'd rather keep it within me, where I can continue to bask in my team's glory, instead of seeing facade after facade of what people truly feel.

Everyone does the same, me inclusive. We ask people about their races and competitions but don't show a genuine interest in their answers. We "orh", we "okay...", we laugh, but in fact, in our hearts, we're all dead without any real emotion. So why do we ask? We ask because it's a formality. That's it. Simple as that.

That's why, starting from this year, I haven't been asking about others' competitions anymore. Because it's THEIR COMPETITION, their experience to keep, their glory to bask in. They don't have to tell me or anyone else only to have it spoilt and scratched by someone's unintentional lack of genuine interest.

And I have a choice, I'd rather you not ask if you're not sure where you stand. Don't leave scratches on my medals or the glory I intend to keep because I won it. Not you. So not ask me. I'd rather there be awkward silence between us than for my race experience to be blotched by anyone. So care for me. Love me. Pamper me. Free me.

2006-06-18T20:06:00.000+08:00

Well. Let's see. Today on the bus no. 39, from approximately 1940h to 1945h from Tampines Bus Interchange to Block 141, there were these 3 children, around 10 to 15 years of age, and gosh were they annoying. Trust me, you probably couldn't switch on your iPod at full blast and not hear them. You WILL hear them. They are so annoying, this happened:

Me turning around to glare at them. (1x)
Me turning around to glare at them. (2x)
Me, VERY annoyed: "Excuse me, this is public transport. Could you please lower your volume?"

Them: (anyone with IQ 80 and above will understand that they said this with sarcasm) "Oh sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry ! Sorry, sorry~"

Me trying to ignore them.

1 of them lies down on the seat.
Another imitates my tone, in a high pitch, trying to provoke me: "Excuse me, public transport !" (does this a few times)

Me trying to ignore them a few times. Then finally turning around to glare at them. Irritated beyond hell.

The 2 not lying down: "We're telling him (points to the one lying down) not to lie down 'cause it's public transport !"

I decide to ignore the hooligans.

The gang of 3 start speaking in a language I do not comprehend (not English, Chinese, Tamil, make your guess), saying something like: ".... Bodoh Cina..." which really infuriated me.

What am I trying to bring across? That prejudice happens for a reason. I'm not prejudiced, I don't hate anyone from any other community; I daresay I treat people fairly. But these are the people who stain their community, who bring their community to shame, who bring about generalisation of their own community. If we all want social coherence, the nonexistence of social tension, then why don't we strive towards it? Why don't you respect the person who made a remark on the bus so that you can be considerate to the entire bus of tired people trying to rest, and treat her as an individual, regardless of her community or colour?

I am angered. I am infuriated. I said NOTHING that discriminates those 3 kids in any way (unless you consider volume a discriminatory factor), and yet they say something so devaluating of my race. It is something I hold with value, something I am proud of; It is MY IDENTITY. Yet, there they were, discriminating it. How would they feel if we swapped positions? I'm sure they wouldn't feel good too. In fact, being the hooligans that they have demonstrated themselves to be, they might have tried to pick a fight with me. That is an assumption, of course.

But I am civilised, and I will not lower myself to their standards.

If rampant prejudice is to be stopped, I'd wager that we have to single out these black sheep of various communities and help them before we criticise the world of prejudice to our own communities.

You reap what you sow.

END. I'm off to sleep. Night.

2006-06-18T06:31:00.000+08:00

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo hungry !!! Going out for breakfast with the guys now. Hoho.

2006-06-18T03:55:00.000+08:00

It's like so darn early and I'm online. Guess guess. Ding-ding-ding ! I didn't sleep a wink. In fact I'm still not tired. Seriously, I should have just been allowed to ton. I can't fall asleep ! Grr.

Maybe it's the double caffeine x 2 packets of GU power gel effect. =P

Anyway, today's race was great yeah.

I'm glad I rowed my best. It was really my limit. Ha. I bet if I rowed like that every single set during trainings, I'd probably be bigger than Kenneth now and bursting with muscles everywhere. Haha. Anyway I doubt I can sustain that intensity for our normal 2 hour trainings. =P It was like, geez, my 120% or more.

I really gave it my all.

Hmm. They're still tonning outside. Really wish I can be outside ! //pouts a little// Geez. Nightriders are like around for a reason. Dang dang.

Ahh I'm gonna shut up before I start whining again.

Anyway I'm gonna miss my team. =(

Here's the long-awaited results:

20-crew (men): Silver (senior guys)
20-crew (women): Silver (13 senior girls and 7 junior girls)
10-crew (men): Bronze (senior guys boat 'A')
10-crew (women): Bronze (senior girls)
'A' Division Men Champions

Yupp ! Really glad for the guys =) Haha. The winning of the championships was TOTALLY unexpected. We were like all walking away for our debrief already, and then...

Announcer: "...'A' Division, Men overall champions... NANYANG JUNIOR COLLEGE !"

For a moment, everyone just kept quiet, and looked around at each other. We couldn't believe our ears ! Then we thought we heard wrongly, and some dismissed it as the irritating habit of the announcers to mix up NYJC with NJC. That was until Yu Xiang ran back with the trophy in his hand, jumping around. Haha, the guys just went ecstatic. I guess that trophy's about the sweetest thing of their DB career. But like duhh. They put in so so so so so much effort and haven't seen any returns for their efforts until this last race. Of course they're jubilant. Of course they're ecstatic. Of course they have the right to cheer. I'm happy for them. =)

As for the girls, as long as we've tried our best, well, no regrets ! Look how far we've come. In the past, the only chance the girls in the team had of winning was in the mixed boat. I can still remember clearly how even Laoshi was dubious of our ability and biased towards the guys at the start. This time round, with the NYJC Dragonboat Team of 2005/06, see what we've achieved. 3 Silvers and 2 Bronzes to our girls team since the launch of our Dragonboat career. Considering how we started out knowing nuts about fitness, having people from all walks of life (fat ones, skinny ones, unfit ones, geeky ones) joining this CCA, I must say we've come a long way. Look at the team now. Full of fit and strong people. No more geeky or wispy people. (Err, except maybe ONE, if you wanna think of that exception, haha.)

NJC Canoeing Team. These people are our arch rivals, the ones we're always striving so hard to outdo. Once, we lagged so far behind them. Now, we're chasing up, closing the gap, eating inch by inch, slowly, but surely.

Look at them. The intensity of their trainings, the frequency of their trainings, their level of discipline, their level of commitment. Everything is at its highest level. I can't say so for my own team. I applaud them from the bottom of my heart. In fact I salute them. Not everyone is able to take that kind of training. In fact, few people are able to. If you throw me into their training session one day, I can honestly tell you that I may not come out alive. Really. I think they're tough. They deserve the medals. Definitely.

Hmm. Still, I'm proud of my team. For a bunch of people stringed together because of a common interest in Dragonboat, people who at first were hesitant about joining Dragonboat, people from CO, IT Club, Band, First Aid, etc, we've come a long way. A lot of us girls have never ran below 14 minutes for 2.4km before we joined Dragonboat. Yet, look at us now. Everyone's running below 13 minutes, some even 12 minutes. Although we can't match up to NJC's 11 minutes on average, it doesn't matter. Because we didn't have a canoeing/dragonboat background from the start. We started out as fresh pieces of paper, to be painted, moulded and shaped by the CCA, its trainings, its teachers-in-charge, its coaches and its existing members. And because of that, I am proud.

I will say it again. We have come so far. From nothing, to everything in my life. From fatsos and stickmen to Hulks.

Girls, I won't be shallow like some are and say that we're scary just because we can do pull-ups, push-ups, have huge muscles or lift heavy weights. It's not something to be ashamed of. (In fact, some guys can't even outrun us, do as many sit-ups or pull-ups as us, or go through as much suffering as we can endure. Just look at the high dropout rate of Dragonboat ya. I'm not saying that all those that dropped out can't take suffering. But that's probably the case for the majority. That they can't take the pain.) This just goes to show our commitment to our CCA, our desire to bring our CCA to greater heights so much that we can sacrifice self-image and not be bothered about what others say (to a large extent). For that, I salute you.

For not giving up, for persisting to the end, for keeping this girls team entire.

For the guys... Your desire to win never fails to amaze me. It burns so strong, it keeps my desire burning as well. That's what I love about the guys team. The openness, the desire, the passion. Simple yet strong. =)

From the team, I've learnt that girls will always be girls, and guys will always be guys. I can't force the guys to accept a girl's way of doing things, neither can I force girls to be as power-hungry as the guys. I've learnt that things don't always go one way, and that sometimes, a change is the only way for something hidden to surface, so that I grow from there and so mature, being better adapted to changes, better able to cope with changes.

I know I haven't been a great QM, or rather, I haven't been a good QM. But I guess I tried my best. Maybe like Mr Lee said, I'm not cut out for PR. I can push people, but whether or not they respond is up to them. And if they don't, and I continue pushing, it only hurts the relationship between the two parties. That's where I learnt to give up sometimes. To be tired, to take a step back, and look at the situation. Thinking back, if I had more of Regina's resolve and used her soft approach, I might have won the girls over to endure through harder trainings together more often.

Instead, then, I chose to let them be, to give up trying. I didn't persist. Neither did I change. Okay, I did. But I didn't persist with the changing of methods. I tried, I tried, I tried some more, and then I gave up. I guess that's where I learnt. Learnt to persevere, but with the right attitude.

Change is the only constant.

As much as I hated to have that joker of a Song Guang step down, I must say I'm elated Jian Hao stepped up. It's not that I prefer either, but that they both taught me things in their way of handling matters, and being exposed to different people in the ExCo really made me work my brains a lot, so much sometimes they got kinda fried.

Well, Jian Hao's taught me a lot. Patience. Giving what people want to the best of my ability so everyone stays happy (happy people do things faster and more effectively, that's what I've realised). Listening more and talking less. Especially during the fun race period. I think working with him's kinda opened my mind up a lot. I don't show it, but yeah, Jian Hao, you've been an inspiration. Thanks. Haha. You've been so much of a miracle. I'm glad I got to know you better. =) Don't worry, not gonna start holding your hand, stupid. =P

Xuansheng? He's showed me how much he absolutely detests some group of the team I belong to. Ha. He's got me looking at the girls team in his way, then me going home and thinking about how I look at the girls team my way, and finally the next day when I arrive at training ground and actually agree to his views. Which kinda sucks, 'course sometimes there are things about us girls that I really don't want to admit. He strikes the raw spot. Like bull's eye. Still, I think the bias gets a little too far sometimes and yeah, girlfriends fall out. Haha. I think my "I'm not speaking to you anymore" episode sometime this year was hilarious. Always gets me cracked up when i think about it. And he's the one who really made me scared of being late. Haha. Still, I love my Xuans ! Although he's gay, enjoys spreading untrue rumours of me taking myoplex, laughing at me, exclaiming at my arm size, yeah basically BULLYING me, I'm glad I met the crazy triathlete. Whatever I dislike about him (HOO!), he more than makes up through inspiring me to run, swim and just go crazy with the long distances like he does. I've found someone who's gonna run a marathon with me when we're both 50 and I think I'm gonna go diving with him one day. XD

Kenneth sucks la. Really. He ALWAYS says this: "Her ideas never work." Which is like SO not true. They do work, just that you never notice. Haha. Mm. I'm glad I met Kenneth. Because he always has a way of changing the mood. =) I won't ever forget the night when I was distressed to the brink of tears and Zhen You was at a loss of what to so and then because of Kenneth's chicken chop, we all cracked up and I felt so much better. It's always the little things he does. =) You know, I first found out I whine a lot when I was with him too. It was at Goldenmile, when I was again berating smokers when Mr (Kenneth) Lee spoke up. Kinda got me thinking. Still, I DETEST smokers. =P Although if he and I are placed alone together we'd probably come to blows because we're both impatient and pretty slow when it comes to understanding ideas, I still like Kenneth, because he's the one who'd always end the day with laughter, no matter how bad it was before and he'd always put things right. X)

Dickson, because he always waits for me and utters not a single word of complaint when I'm tardy (99% of the time). There to hear me whine once, twice, thrice and all over again about foolish, childish little things that work me up. Listen to me rant on and on and then chip in a word or two and then laugh with me or at me. The person in the same boat as me, literally ! The one who took great care of me from beginning to the end. Heh. The waiting, the helping accept the passing away of a loved one, the long piggyback, the listening to complaints, the advice, the understanding when nobody else does, the always same problems encountered, the same thoughts, the entertainment and cheering up. I think you're about the best a twin brother can get. Actually I think if we were really twins it'd be quite entertaining. LOL. O ya. Think Yosef still believes we're real twins. One day I might actually start believing too. Haha. It's freakish. But it sure is great having you around. My undisputed favourite person in Dragonboat. =))

The girls? Shh. If written here, totally spoils the fun. Haha. So why all the people above? Cuz I've got even more to write about them. Gimme a year and I might just finish the first chapter for them. X)

Actually, taking up the leadership role in Dragonboat has never been easy. It's been full of waves and changing tides (no pun intended), and I often fall into the water when I'm not careful. But usually, I manage to climb back into the boat, albeit a few scratches here and there, and continue my happy rowing. I've met challenges, but I've overcome them. I've met people I don't like, but I now like them. I've been stubborn and a stick-in-the-mud, but I've changed. I've a hot temper and I still have one but at least now I keep it better controlled.

I like Dragonboating. In fact, I love it. It's not just the medals, the adrenaline rush, the power, or even the people anymore. It's everything I get out of it, especially the maturing. I've learnt so much. Nothing I can learn from any other CCA.

What doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger.

2006-06-16T22:51:00.000+08:00

Norm MacDonald - Pokémon Sketch

Haha. Funny ! XD

2006-06-15T22:22:00.001+08:00

You know. The nearer we are to the competition, the more anxiety I feel, the more feelings well up inside me. I'm already starting to miss my team even before the race's here. I don't really wanna admit this, but yeah. I think I'm gonna bawl my eyes out after saturday's race... Whatever we're getting, Gold, Silver or Bronze, I think I'm gonna cry. =X

Sigh. Like some be-earlied graduation. Graduation from the team. I wonder if this happens to other CCAs as well? Hmm. I can just imagine myself logging on to Blogger every weekend to lament incessant about my life then, devoid of dragonboat. I know this bond between the entire team may not last through a lifetime, but you know, everytime we meet up, be it arranged or accidental, at each other's homes or on the streets, there's something to look back on and feel glorified about, something for us to relish in together, laugh at together, and remember how we touched each other's lives.

Might sound a little corny, but to hell with that. I guess that's what Dragonboat's done to me. It's made me love my CCA so exclusively. Hmm. It's different for every batch, but I still prefer to think of mine as the most memorable one. Maybe we'd be the last batch to hold so many memories even, who knows. After all, we're the last batch to go through those killer land trainings with 11 rounds of staircase-climbing, doing push-ups and like 300 leg raises in the rain, changing position from sit-up to dorsal raise to push up on the field under the sun in April.

Every CCA is unique, as is every batch. But to hell with that too. I just love my CCA and my batch exclusively. Not that I hate any other CCA, but I think I would have lost out a great deal had I chosen any other CCA, be it the CCA that enjoys building bridges (haha sounds like Magneto's speech to Prof X) or the one that likes being outdoors. XD I would have gained some things in other CCAs that are unattainable in Dragonboat, that's for sure, but what's a little indulging in her beloved CCA of a dragonboater who's just about to step down? Yeah. Let me relish in this moment and not take any offence like some petty dodo will. =)

Unforgettable is an understatement.

2006-06-11T18:56:00.000+08:00

Epic Tale of a Fish Cracker

For the bad html in the previous post about my video, here's the video I made (inspired by Dickson throwing biscuits at me in the library after both of us got seriously bored of studying) with a very cute Patrick drawn by Dickson. And it's probably being attacked by ants in his pencil case now. X)

2006-06-11T18:42:00.000+08:00

Took loads of photos today ! Kinda like, the last training at Kallang and SDBA. I'm going to miss everything there. X(

2 more trainings and 1 race with my team. We're always a team, no matter what. In the end, I'm still glad I picked NYJC and Dragonboat as my CCA. =) It's an experience of a lifetime ! And... I'm thankful for everything that's happened. Because what doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger.

Thank you team.

You can be sure I'm going to yap on this topic for the next 1 week or possibly 1 month before the nostalgia starts to fade off. So you've gotta bear with me !

Meanwhile, let me scare my ex-schoolmates who still read my blog with photos of my team now (since you'll get to see how gigantic my arms are).

Seriously, I'm not sad. Probably because I know I'm going to lose all these chunks of muscle and fats after stepping down. =) Ahh shucks. Some of the photos can't appear. =S See the next post for more photos !

2006-06-10T17:26:00.000+08:00

2006-06-10T15:43:00.000+08:00

Haha Yu Xiang is a copycat ! XP

2006-06-10T14:30:00.000+08:00

I'm glad Xuans isn't angry with me. XD Haha. Sorry ar. PS you suddenly. Cuz I really wanna sleep. But there're some things I need to blog about before I forget...

Mmm. I finally mustered up the courage to apologise today. And to tell the summarised truth. I'm sure everyone got the right idea what's going on now. =) Glad I chose to speak to them. Their reaction was well... assuring. It's like the 50kg stone weighing in my heart has finally been dropped. (And it didn't drop on my feet. Haha.)

No matter what happened, I guess the bottomline is that I joined this team because of the people in it. The 05/06 team. The 1st Nanyang JC Dragonboat Team. The last team to endure through gruelling land trainings, the first team with pool rowing, the only team with a high dropout rate, the sole team that will not participate in Dragonboat Festival, the team...

Ultimately, I love everything about the sport, albeit the times when I can really hate something about it as well. But isn't that what love is about? It's about loving something so much you start to hate some parts of it you can't improve/change. =)

Be it the teachers in-charge, my girls and guys, the junior girls and guys, the boats, the t-paddles, the round mats, the DIY shop mats, the SDBA paddles, the dragon heads, the dragon tails, the rudders, uncle jeffery, the lockers, the metal cupboard; it doesn't matter. This team, this sport, it has become a part of me and so much more in ways I can't possibly explain on a blog.

It's about the rowing hard water together.
The kick and twist.
The lai ar, kiyak !
The stretch out, pull ar !
The ready... and... reach !
The hard tens, long tens and power tens.
The eating biscuits together.
The suffering together when doing endless push ups.
The seemingly never-ending rounds of intervals.
The guys' obsession with growing big.
The girls' obsession with staying small.
The torturous cross country run.
The nonsensical gym sessions.
The no-life jokes that only no-life boaters like us will understand.

The funny encouragement of Dickson's.

The laughing at Zhi Kai's lame jokes and literal hold water.

The habit of Yu Xiang to slap water with his paddle.

Yun Xuan's jokes.

Xuans' gayness and stripping.

Zonglin's expression and metal.

Hai Ling's ke wu !

Zhen You's gossip.

Yuanlin's reaction when Mr Lee calls her by any name except her own.

Hui Ting's screaming jiayou and longwindedness.

Song Guang's stupidity and actions.

Fu Quan's monkey face.

Samuel being President of SGFC.

Kai Yuan's hey hey !

Regina's little leakage accident. (Quote me: "We're all rowing in the same bloody boat.")

Jian Hao's white specs and refusal to admit anything nice about me.

Kenneth's "Come On" and "I'm shy".

Hariz's agape mouth.

Wei Ling's retardedness and mood swings.

Qi Fen's excessively sunblocked face.

Gwen's obsession with cleanliness.

Jasmine's super duper uber zai rowing.

Xue Ling getting caught being AIA (aunty in action).

Er Jie being mistaken for a paddle. (Haha made that up. But I wouldn't be surprised if that happens one day.)

Jun Xiong's extremely long yahoo group messages and Jasmyn's unwavering TLC for him.

Chu Hui just being cute. =)

Li Min's singing and exaggerated actions.

Cindy's non-stop flood of nonsensical funny things.

Errol trying to steal my phone.

Wan Yee's subtle but especially heartening support.

Lester always being the butt of all jokes.

Gary laughing at my weight and arm size.

Kannan always being tricked into laughing at people of his same... you know.

Kok Weng with the coffeeboy haircut in the coffeeboy singlet with the coffeeboy walking style.

Jun Hao, forever stupid boy.

Jia Jun's pout !

Miss Lim's anti-climax speeches and chats with Zonglin.

Mr Lee's unhealthy obsession with his team's personal relationship progesses.

.
.
.

Phew, that was long.

But yeah, that's what Dragonboating is all about. =)

2006-06-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to all those in the "resort" just now AND who read my blog (think sets (math). Think intersect.). Haha. HUI SIN HEARTS YOU FOR BEING SO CONCERNED ! I am touched.

Teehee.

2006-06-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

You know what's my nemesis? It's my temper.

Gotta try to keep it down today. Wish me luck. I hope everything turns out well. Like liu liu da shun, and not the mark of the devil as I featured a few days ago.

Seems like everytime I'm saying I'm REALLY tired. But am I really?

2006-06-04T14:54:00.000+08:00

I didn't return home to face another terror.

Bit by bit, my havens disappear.

2006-06-04T13:45:00.000+08:00

Love or bane?
It's driving me insane.

Many of you were the reason I stayed
But the old you seems to have vanished without a trace
Was it genuine, or pure facade?
Or one of the many masks over your face?

The love of my life, the bane of my soul
The very heart you ignite, the same one turned cold
Passion for the sport in me you instill
Desire to race together, you now distill

Popularity purchased, conscience sold
Visage betrays your every hope
Disguise works not the way you desire
My fire douses as you continue to conspire

In the dark of the night,
It is not your mother who weeps;
In the silent of the night,
It is my heart that bleeds.

With much zest I tried to help
Instead you stamp each other's toes and yelp
Every effort, rejected ten times
In a day I step on a million mines

Are your eyes open or closed like all?
Your vision clear or myopia befall?
I lay the logic before your eyes
Delve, admit, and then break the ice.

This team I hope still seeks redemption
Or has it gone beyond salvation?

2006-06-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

Haha I know this is like the 3rd post (or is it 4th) of the day, but then I just had to post about this. XD

My mom went for this family workshop and came back all crazy. LOL. But I love my mom. Haha. She's funny. Kept doing the rendition of I Not Stupid 2 (tells us "I LOVE YOU") and then did some things that the workshop taught, like touch me a lot and hugged me and ya, telling me she loves me. LOL. It was funny. But it works all right. I feel so much better now.

No wonder I always miss my mom out of the blue in school. Heh. X)

2006-06-03T21:02:00.000+08:00

I've thought about it. Throughout the few, okay many, hours when I was away from the computer, I was sleeping. And I'm sure it made me more calm.

I think I know the problem with being closer to the opposite gender in my team. It's the sacrifice of whining and problem confiding, 'cuz no one wants to listen. Maybe it's 'cuz it's a sign of weakness--- I dunno--- or perhaps it's because they think nothing comes out of it. That's why, guys are always guys. They probably keep problems to themselves a lot, and that's why, when I whine, it's almost always unwelcomed.

But it's okay. There's always the exceptional twin who never laments about my tardiness, rides with me from Tampines to Lavender and then saunter with me from Lavender to SDBA, meanwhile just lending his ear to my endless stretch of complaints. Four times a week. That's really enough. =)

Just hope after training's no longer a part of our lives weeks later, I still get to do the same thing sometimes with him, just maybe this time, I'd be the one laughing it off and him being the one with funny troubles. Thanks twin.

I'll take whatever challenges you throw at me from now on. And I promise to deal with them in the best way I can. Tomorrow, I'll not run. I'll confront the problem, 1 on 1. See how it goes.

The stage is set, but do the actors know?

2006-06-03T15:26:00.000+08:00

Good mood's ruined by a moment's realisation.

If anyone's so unhappy with me, I don't see why you can't speak to me about it. You have something to say, SAY IT. Why discuss without my knowing? It's not like I hid the fact that I spoke to them.

Honestly I should have done what I wanted to do months go. Leaving might have been the best option that ever came across my mind. Shitloads.

The biggest mistake I ever made might have been to come to NY and be tortured by a bunch of people I liked most.

If you don't know the damage you're dealing, it's so bad just shouting

IT HURTS

draws the air out of my lungs.

Maybe I should just explode literally and never occur as an existence huh.

Honestly, what do you need me for? To balance the boat?

It's been a long while since I've said this, but LIFE SUCKS. It sucks to the core when I have a whole bunch of people I care about backstabbing me just hours before I have the chance to reveal to them thoughts and rational opinions crystalline after weeks of observation and analysis. All hope, vanished in a trance.

And you think I don't care. If I don't care I wouldn't be bothered to want to know what THEY think. If I don't care, I wouldn't be caring two hoots about what you comment. If I don't care, I wouldn't be sitting in front of the computer now, typing my guts out when I can better spend my time studying about the antagonistic muslces of a locust.

Forget it, whatever I say now doesn't matter. 2 weeks. That's all. You want to hate me, fine. Want to outcast me, fine. Do whatever you want. 2 weeks. Period.

2006-06-03T14:29:00.000+08:00

Everyone should go check this out: 666

Haha. Hilarious stuff.

Anyway, I was online to blog about some reflections o' mine, but I guess I kinda got distracted by some research I was doing on The Omen. =P Can't wait to catch it at the cinema ! XD

So err, going back to the solemn topic...

REFLECTIONS

Well. Today kinda got me thinking about Dragonboat and what it's done to me. Pretty obviously, DB's made an ah boy out of me. That's like visible for anyone to see. Duh. The thing is what changed inside (not more muscles, hell).

I guess I've become a lot more aggressive and demanding. But I also think that because of DB, I've learnt to be more focused, more determined, more aware of teamwork's importance, more pursuing of what I truly want, more trained at handling different situations. It's not like any other CCA I've been to where I go in and come out with simply more skills, a larger social circle, better leadership qualities, polished PR skills, more experience at planning, etc. It gave me something to hunger for, something to desire, something to work towards. It might not be the same for everyone; in fact, it might not even apply to anyone in the team besides me.

But one thing's for sure: Dragonboating has changed me.

It's made me more aware of the limitations of my body, and more importantly, that of my mind. It's taught me impartiality, the weight of neutrality, as well as some simple law of Newton's. For any applied force, there is a reactant force of the same amount in the opposite direction. Same thing for any situation. Say, when I push people too hard, their dislike for me grows as much. Yet when I don't push, maybe they aren't reminded to push. So, I've learnt to push, AND encourage. Although negative encouragement works especially well if there're people like me in the team, positive encouragement works universally. So that's what I've decided to do.

[the next paragraph is t o t a l l y unrelated to the one above, in terms of Newton's Law]

However, there'll always be black sheep in any flock, whichever farm a person is at. So like, the farm I'm at has numerous black sheep that don't work either way. So I've become so fed up and simply decided to give up. Nuh-uh. Before you start snorting and commenting on the contradictions of today's blog content, allow me to explain. I tried not once, not twice, but MULTIPLE times to try and you know, cultivate the black sheep for the sake of the farm. But they simply refuse to listen. Whatever I say doesn't work. It's not that I'm ineffective (I believe so), but that these sheep are constantly in each other's company and whatever I say is deflected back at me. Kinda never works. Oh well.

Dear reader, if you're lost, then so be it. Better that you don't know what I'm going on and on about.

Anyway, Dragonboat's thrown me a lot of challenges. The first one was being Quartermistress of the team, which at first I handled rather badly by

Having critical opinion of a certain person. No amount of apologies can express how sorry I am for my past mistake. Hence, I don't apologise. Actions shown are always better. =)
Starting out overly fierce and completely mesmerised by our seniors' form of discipline. I'm glad I turned out okay and understood the meaning of modification.
Having a rather bad temper. I lose it pretty often (in fact now I still do) but I try to keep it down and whine to closer friends to keep it off. Usually after the whining I'll be all right. =D

Ya. I guess there're other factors, but I can't really remember (possibly bad memory being no. 4) so I won't be a sitting duck to wait for those thoughts to accumulate. =P

Then, there was the time when a particularly important person left the team... Well. That kinda marked the turning point of our team... and my well, lots of things. [undisclosed] I guess it's safer to keep it like this. After all, who knows who exactly is reading my blog? Ha. Besides, close friends will know what I'm referring to.

Hmm. Dragonboat's definitely made me a wiser person too. I think more now, but it sucks sometimes 'cuz it's the reason why I "think too much" sometimes for sure.

And... Let's just say that Dragonboat's found me the true essence of team spirit, teamwork, discipline, joy and friendship in people I've least expected to do so. ^^

Well, I think the whole chunk about Dragonboat above was kinda ill-linked and would have easily gotten me an F from my GP tutor for content. But I'll stick with it.

To satisfy my dear readers with some juicy bits of my life today... I lost my temper today. I don't think I was wrong to be angry, but after some delving, I guess it was a mistake on my part to have shown it so blatantly without any sign of holding back. I'm all for Mr Lee's opinion. Seems like I'm all alone.

Read into it what you will, for I won't be bothering to explain.

Miss you much, fiance.

2006-05-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

Okay, so you caught me reading blogs for the past few hours but I prefer to think of it as preparing myself for GP. I guess Politics just gets juicier by the minute for me. //licks lips// Ha.

If you're game enough, check out the new blogsites I've linked to (on the column to the right of all this text) and amuse/enlighten yourself. Word of caution, though. Make sure you do some reading up first. Or you can be guaranteed confusion throughout your blog-hopping sessions. Have fun !

2006-05-14T00:17:00.000+08:00

Xiao Yan and Me Eating Cactus

Makan Time !!!

Anorexic Blackbird Scaring Germs ! X)

2006-05-13T20:37:00.000+08:00

Makan Mania 2006

Met Birdie, Stupid and Freak in school at 9+ today... At first Stupid and Freak weren't exactly all out for winning. But for me, heh. You know, I always try to win. =P Anyhow, we formed alliance with Anorexic, so our combined group name is: Anorexic Blackbird Scaring Germs. Kinda retarded, but here's why:

Anorexic: Kim Wei, Zhen Yao, Casper, Cheryl
Black: Hui Sin
Bird: Xiao Yan
Scaring: Wen Hui (s/he's a scare)
Germs: Jeremy

Anyway, we, being lucky allies, managed to find the first clue hidden in the pages of the books on our respective shelves first. And well, being allies, we don't have to find both of the clues to get ahead. Just one will do. =P

So we ran off to get our first item: Fried Kway Teow

Mmm. When we were buying our kway teow, it was kinda hilarious hearing the guys discriminating CSS. Haha. Very funny. I shan't disclose the contents on the grounds that this is a public blog and that some supporters of CSS might find it extremely offensive. =P But today kinda opened gave me insight on the other side of CSS. =P

First Station: Serangoon Central

Err, basically we had to play this memory game thing with beans. Yupp. Red beans, green beans, soyabeans and black beans. =P Anyway, we got through that easily, and we ate our Fried Kway Teow. Mm, the first clue was:

South from the Great Bridge
Under the Crossroad
Lies Mr Smith
Who sits contemplating
the Complexities
of Life and Beyond

Something like that la... So we ran off to South Bridge Road at...

Second Station: Chinatown

It took us FOREVER to find the Station I/C la. From being the first to find the clues and get to Chinatown and being way ahead of the rest (oh ya we caught up with the white rabbit team ! But because they have no points yet, we got no points from them. =( ). Anyhow, we decided to use Anorexic's helpline since we had no clue of where we were going and well, we only need to push one team to get first and then split the prize. Ended up the helpline was so unclear it was useless. So we ran off by our own and found the place ourselves with a little idea here and there of what they were saying. Not bad ar ! Anyway, to complete our Food Chain, we got a Watermelon to eat at the third station.

So at the second station, because Wen Hui and Jerm already had their turns, and I lost to XY at rock-scissors-paper, I gotta do charades, and let's just say they nearly died trying to interpret what I was acting out. But anyhoos, we got 19 out of 20 correct within 20 minutes, so let's just keep it at Wen Hui and me having a lot of mo qi (= telepathy). =P

Third Station: Chinatown Complex Market

The location was quickly found, and we settled for 2 bowls of black sesame paste per team, finished quick, ate our watermelon quick, and set off quickly again. Haha. Haste to win. We didn't wanna be near the CSS group. =P Constant jokes on the way about them again.

Fourth Clue:
Max the Frog
Met Weldon the Hog
Together they were caught
And later chopped
Go find them
Where they are served
And you perhaps
Will be served as well.

Fourth Station: Maxwell Market

Food item: Ngoh Hiang

Got there, ate sweet potato fritters, managed a labyrinth maze, figured out our last station food name (kaya fondue; many thanks to Kai Yuan who helped loads !) and then figured out our fifth station:

Fifth Station Clue:

Look -->

There's a car

On the shoe

O.O

Check it out

It's glowing gold.

Did you guess it right? Yupp, it's

Fifth Station: Golden Shoe Carpark

Food item: Green Apple Juice

Ehh, Xiao Yan's turn ! Haha. We're supposed to throw darts at this points thing la. So we didn't score anything, but never mind, we're not shooters. =P Anyhoos, Xiao Yan got to eat 5 spoonfuls of bitter herbs, kinda yucks. But she made it =)

Sixth Station: Short Street, Soyabean Drink and Beancurd Shop

Food item: Ee Mian

We had to wolf down 4 bowls of hot soya beancurd down in 5 minutes. The thing was so hot I nearly burnt my throat while choking on the large piece of beancurd la. Simply crazy. But the beancurd was really yummylicious ! X)

Seventh Station: Tek Ka Market

Food item: Nasi Lemak

Teh Tarik station ! Aka the station of jokes. Haha. About one person. Shan't say more. All who read the evaluation will know. XD Anyway, I scalded the person measuring the height of my teh tarik pouring. TWICE. I think I murdered some thousands of cells on his hand. =X But then I felt so guilty la. I passed my bottle of cold wheatgrass juice over to Jerm to let him cool his hand with the exterior but guess what, Jerm poured it over his hand. Haha. Simply dumb. Anyway I got the ice over and we cooled his hand.

After that was stupid. We didn't know if the next station was gonna be the FINAL station or the miscellaneous station BEFORE the final station. And this bang-bang long hair, fringeless, tek po, attitude, fierce auntie, fire-spitting, face black black of a station I/C simply got on our nerves 'cuz of the following 10 reasons:

She attitude us.
She speaks at the speed of 1 word per 2 seconds. Obviously her English is really lousy 'cuz she can't even understand the term "race".
She thinks she's very big.
She stinks.
She stinks.
She stinks.
She stinks.
She stinks.
She stinks and
SHE STINKS.

Yupp. Basically, everyone on alliance disliked her. We were all against her. Haha. Anyhoos, after the corrections were made (FINAL station: next stop), we charged down (and by that I really do mean we charged down) to Esplanade: Theatres by the Bay.

Eight Station: Esplanade

Food item: Kaya Fondue

Ahhaha. I think the process of getting here was really funny. Actually it started from the fourth station (maxwell) onwards. Everytime we got tired, someone will shout: "$200 !" and we'd start running again. It was so darn stupid but hilarious ! We were like, such typical Singaporeans. But hell, it was a crazy chase. But I think we didn't really chiong for the money, more like we did it for the craze and hype that was building up steadily. XD

Anyhoos, we really dashed all the way there. Then when Kim Wei discovered the last station I/Cs we really pia all out, last charge, all the way to them. Then here's another stupid part.

Each of the 4 members of the group has to stand in front of 1 of the 4 boxes displayed. Then when the station I/C calls to start, we will place our hands into the boxes and feel around, then after 1 minute, without removing our hands from the boxes, tell the station I/C what the food is. If we answer wrongly, we had to eat the food we were touching. We only had one try. Beforehand, they told us the food items in the boxes were dead, edible and not moving.

Okay so at first I took Box 2. Then Song Guang told us the girls should take Box 1, so gullibly, I trusted him and swapped with Wen Hui, who then swapped with Xiao Yan. Time starts. I felt around, cringed a little, and then decided to just go all out (since last station) and Song Guang was so nice to help us. Then, after a while, I thought the stuff felt like a cranberry, so I continued to press around to check. Then there was this squishy feeling, and I saw red juice on a plastic bag next to my box, so I was like "okay, this has to be a cranberry." But what I didn't understand was why it was furry. Then after a while, one of the station I/Cs asked me this:

"I don't think you'd want to press it."

I was like, OH NO ! That's it, I must have got something darn disgusting. But I still believed my cranberry theory and so I continued to press around. After that, 1 minute was up, so I gave my answer: "Is it a fruit?" and the station I/C replied no and asked me to open the box. I think I just shrieked and jumped back with teary eyes. It was so DARN gross, can? They, no, SONG GUANG, sabotaged me ! I was made to squeeze a BEE around. Worst part of it? I had to eat it. But I just kept screaming at Song Guang and even wiped my shoe's mud on his shirt. Haha, think I was really mean, but he asked for it. =P

Anyhoos, luckily he decided to eat it in the end. And guess what, the whole unglam screaming thing was caught on tape. I hope they don't show the "finale" in the hall to everyone like they did last year for The Amazing Race's final station, the Reverse Bungee Jump (in this case this episode). So, I was safe from eating an insect.

After that, we happily banged the gong a couple of times, hid the thing you use to hit the gong, tried to hide the gong, but didn't, had ice-cream, took photographs, discussed about what we should do with our prize money, thought of keeping the sum to ourselves, joked about it and laughed a lot while writing evaluation 'cuz we couldn't stop bitching about a few people. LOL. Particularly me bitching about the Teh Tarik Woman. =P I think given the level of her seriousness, she might just sue me for slander. O well. Haha.

After that, most of them left, and only gluttony Casper and I stayed behind to taste the kaya fondue. It was just kayak dip, and honestly, not worth the $2.5o they paid for us. But all the same, when you're ravenous, anything tastes great. XD After that Casper left and I waited for the DB gals (that's their group name la -_-) to arrive so I can laugh at them. But it wasn't that entertaining after all in the end, 'cuz well, as usual, they don't have the slightest patience to listen to even the shortest of instructions. Which meant a lot of repeating and nerves stepped on. Oh well.

The whole thing was really enjoyable, and I really really really had fun. Missing training today was worth it (besides, I ran so much I think that constitutes to one training). As Wen Hui puts it:

Give me $200 and I will surely pass my 2.4.

Haha. How true ! I think my legs are really tired from yesterday. And we still have to run tomorrow ! // grumble grumbles // Oh well, not to worry. I am STRONG ! Haha.

I really liked the whole team spirit and helping each other out between Anorexic and BBSG. Haha. It was entertainment at full blast, lots of excitement, and well, fun fun fun ! Haha. I think the school would do great if we always have activities like this. X))

A little damper for the whole happy occasion: I didn't like the attitude of her. Actually it's the whole team, 'cuz of their objective. But as for why her, it's like HEY ! SoRe LoSeR~ If you didn't make it, you didn't make it okay. It's not because of help. It's cuz you didn't bother putting in the effort. Guess we're back to Square One. Bang bang.

And oh, eyecandy isn't eyecandy anymore. I don't think I like his personality very much.

For now, I'm in love with the Hwa Chong guy. Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ XD

2006-05-13T01:49:00.000+08:00

Added Xuans' blog link. Since he asked me to. =P

Okay if you see this I'm sorry I'm staying up and not getting my 7 hours. Just kinda down and thinking about things. Ya.

2006-05-13T01:26:00.000+08:00

Thinking about something. =X All thanks to a little dream...

I was at this really pathetically small mall waiting patiently for X. Then he came and well, we walked around a bit (we went to the basement which is a supermart, don't ask me why !) before heading to the topmost floor (3rd storey) at 8pm. Ya, 8pm. Anyway, we had these Japanese dessert-like thingies on the topmost floor outside this humble restaurant without many people la. And X and I were just basically very happy throughout. Can't remember much of the content. Just the structure of the dream. Then I woke up, not abruptly, but well, the contents sort of faded off. Which got me thinking about whether I really ya... You know. But then again, I think the dream occurred 'cuz in the day I kinda had on and off thoughts of X and well, someone else.

Geez. Can't stand (or sit) ambiguity.

And Cao Ge's Superwoman just makes matters worse.

2006-05-08T20:43:00.000+08:00

I realise that of the late, I've been a very horrible daughter, sister, student, rower and friend.

Not sensible with words. Not sensitive to problems surfacing. Selfish. Not studying hard anymore. Always idling. Not rowing 100%. Not listening to friends. Only concerned with my own point of view.

Everything is me, me, me and just me. Seriously, what's wrong with me? It wasn't until tears have fallen, and blogs have been read did I realise that all this while my selfishness has taken a toll so severe on the happiness of those around me.

This is bad. It's time I did some soul-searching.

2006-05-01T02:53:00.000+08:00

2006-04-25T20:31:00.000+08:00

I think I'm developing a fetish for slutty dancers. XD

Yes Choy, I was tempted. =P

But gosh, Jenna Dewan sure dances well. Like sizzling sizzling hot.

2006-04-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

Okay I thought the last question is really hilarious. XD

Name 20 people you can think of right now at the top of your head. Don't read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 20 people. OK tag at least 5 people....Ready? Start?

xuansheng
jian hao
yu xiang
zonglin
weiling
hailing
xiao yan
mich
collen
liming
debbie
kai yuan
zhen you
limin
choy
kenneth
sarah
jin yen
jia jun
weldon

[to be continued...]

2006-04-14T02:12:00.000+08:00

Oh ya ! Did I mention? Sharlyn and I got Band 2s for our Project Work while the other 3 members of our group scored the only 3 Band 1s for the whole class. If you think we lost out in Oral Presentation, then here's what I have to say:

No. We lost out in our inability to lie through gritted teeth, to bullshit our way through, to paint poster colours on an otherwise plain palette and call it an oil painting, to cunningly and slyly deceive the examiner and slip through loopholes where ropes are not tied tightly enough.

I honestly loathe the system.

2 people on the team were valuable assets, the amount of work and effort they've inserted into the project is undeniable and recognised. So their Band 1s were well-deserved. BUT. What about the one who got away without doing much work, the one who gave useless and futile ideas, ideas that are limp and flaccid, and still managed a Band 1?

I know I started contributing late, and I won't deny that I didn't actively participate until late into the year. But at least I contributed. Unlike he-who-did-nothing-and-jolly-well-knows.

Oh well. I hope his conscience eats away at him so much that with every key his fingers press upon, his heart skips once out of guilt, so much so he dare not touch the musical instrument ever again. //snorts//

I'm just feeling indignant.

Whatever. I should take heed in knowing that a difference of 1 grade isn't even equivalent to 1% of the total score of our A-levels when taken into percentage. Kudos to Xiao Yan for the calculation.

I guess sometimes it's better to just train up one's bullshitting skills instead of tactical skills. Seems like anyone who knows how to bullshit enough will get around life just well.

I think I won't be speaking to this person for a long long time. Just so I won't flare up and start pinpointing his every flaw and end up making him cry. I will be nice.

Endure endure. Tsk tsk. Shit happens.

2006-04-14T02:01:00.000+08:00

Maybe it's cuz it's really late into the night/early in the morning
.
.
.
Or maybe it's because I'm gonna shit later
.
.
.
Perhaps it's due to the Muddy Grass (: earlier on
.
.
.

But I really think I am one happy person. Haha. Speak about drastic mood swings huh? X)

* To Mommie: (I'm lazy to tagg back =P) Don't worry ! I think I'm all right already. Haha. A blog's a place for lots of venting of frustration, right? XD

2006-04-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

I think I'm not studying hard enough. Gotta work harder ! //ties headband with DETERMINATION written in chinese characters over forehead//

Fun Race planning's been driving me nuts ! Haha. Hope it turns out just fine. I think Jian Hao and I put a lot of effort into making sure it'd turn out just fine. Ya. Hope our efforts are like appreciated.

Yawn. Trained really hard today. I'm totally shagged.

Anyone going for Mardi Gras tomorrow?

2006-04-06T18:27:00.000+08:00

I guess this is where I display another side of me. The unlimited darkness that lurks within. I believe I promised not to be dark again on my blog and to focus on happy thoughts, but somehow recently, my mood's been swinging so drastically I don't know how to handle it. Feel like a horribly lost soul amidst the crowd that keeps jostling past. Soon I'm gonna be killed by this mad stampede if I don't recover fast enough.

I've been coughing so hard my asthma is back. The asthma makes my coughing worse, which in turn deteoriates my situation, causing aggravated coughs... You know, the vicious cycle. I'm starting to doubt that I'm even gonna get well by this weekend. I miss rowing. =(

Talking about rowing... I seem to have lost what I really stayed on for. I realised a day ago during a particular training created for a particular gender for a particular CCA I'm in that I am actually not very welcomed in the CCA. Makes me wonder. A normal person would most definitely request that I not "think so much", whereas a confidante will listen to the end? Speaking of which, I think I have no confidante. I guess I'm quite the loner.

Loner by choice?....... Or is it pure destiny?

I'd never really have any close friends... Friends who didn't leave my side, friends who stuck by me and do things with me. I guess if you ask me to count the number of people who've done all those in the former sentence, I'd probably only need one hand.

Sigh.

Seems like I'm falling back into the pre-October days of last year. September's never really ended, huh? Or has it just started again?

I think I'm really dependent on people.

Anyhow, I digress. Today I approached the captainess (as my twin puts it), and explained what I wanted. Honestly speaking, truthfully and frankly, I wanted **** (don't bother counting, it's random) as my buddy because I felt like I could relate to her situation and that well... I thought she was worth the try to train up. Not that I don't think well of my current buddy... I wanted them both ya? But anyway, the other senior asked me to decide. So I said okay, I'd take both of them. Well, obviously she didn't mean what she said. Because in the end she argued her point again and I gave in. Just didn't like the situation that was getting stickier and stickier. Besides, the point is, it was somewhat like 8 vs 1. Around there la. I estimated. So naturally I wasn't going to win. And mind you, I wasn't oblivious to my surroundings. I could tell that they felt like I was biased and all.

I don't know what they said behind my back after they left; I don't wanna know either. It doesn't matter anymore. Because from now on, I'm fine with anything. If you don't want to do this, FINE, don't do it. If you want to, FINE, go ahead. I'm not stopping anyone anymore. Just gonna be selfish and care about myself. ME, ME, ME. Ya and I know I'm only saying this for now.

Forget it, not gonna blog about it anymore. This is pointless.

Suicidal tendencies huh. I don't care.

2006-04-06T15:20:00.000+08:00

Empathised with.